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Beginner June 2024

Should i ask my future mil to pay for her hair and makeup?

Samantha, on July 8, 2023 at 6:13 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 7

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I am getting married next year and decided to have my hair and makeup professionally done. When I asked my mom and sister if they wanted theirs done, they both said just the hair and they would pay for it themselves, and they will do their own makeup. I also asked my future MIL and she said she would like her hair and makeup both done professionally. Should I ask FMIL to pay for her own like my family offered to do? If so, how do I bring it up? Or should I pay for everyone’s instead? I don’t want to be rude but I am trying to save money as much as I can.

Of note, my bridal party is just my sister so I’m not paying for other bridesmaids. Also, both sets of parents contributed money and told us that if we have anything leftover after paying for the wedding, we can use it for a house. So I technically have the funds but it will take several hundred dollars out of what I have for either the wedding or a future house.

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7 Comments

Latest activity by Alyssa, on July 9, 2023 at 11:43 AM

CM · on July 8, 2023 at 7:58 PM
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You are under no obligation to pay for hair and makeup for anyone other than yourself. I would just tell your FMIL that you heard from the vendors, let her know what the associated costs will be, and ask if she's still interested.
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Super October 2023
Alyssa · on July 8, 2023 at 9:03 PM
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I am confused why you asked. Did you state it as they'd have to pay? Just guaging interest? I think context of how you asked matters.
But honestly if you don't want to pay for it then let her know the cost and if she's still interested.

We're you going to make your mom and sister pay originally or did they just offer?
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Beginner June 2024
Samantha · on July 8, 2023 at 9:05 PM
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I was just gauging interest initially. I hadn’t decided about who would pay yet as I hadn’t even seen what costs would be. My mom and sister both just volunteered to pay without me asking.
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Champion November 2054
Jacks · on July 8, 2023 at 9:07 PM
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You're not obligated to pay, not at all.
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Devoted April 2023
Peyton · on July 9, 2023 at 12:00 AM
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It would be an incredibly kind gesture to pay, unless MIL offers. Both families gave you money and I think you should be willing to pay. In the grand scheme, this is a minimal amount of money. Future MIL and FIL can be possible sources of help in your future and it would be unwise to cause hard feelings at the very beginning. If you were barely scraping by it would be different, but you aren’t. Your Mom and sister are paying for their own…use this money you are saving and spend it on MIL
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Rosebud · on July 9, 2023 at 9:31 AM
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Hmm I don’t think you have to pay for her but you probably should have mentioned that when you asked her if she wanted it done, something like hey I m hiring hair and makeup people I don’t know the exact cost yet but it will probably be around X please let me know if you d like to get yours done too. At this point I d just pay for it if she does not offer but you can always find out the price and then confirm with her, i d say hi I just found out it ll be x for hair and x makeup I need to give them a final count of who will be getting services you still in? Best of luck to you
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Super October 2023
Alyssa · on July 9, 2023 at 11:43 AM
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Since it was just to gage interest I'm going to guess you don't have any contracts signed or finalized price yet, with that being said I think it would be okay to tell FMIL.

"I looked into hair and make up it would xx for hair and xx for make up. Are you still interested?"
In the future though lead with "I'm gaging interst and not sure of the price but would you be interested in XYZ" just clear communication so no one is put in an awkward position.
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