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Dedicated November 2024

Should bridesmaids pay for their attire?

Catherine, on December 8, 2022 at 1:43 PM Posted in Wedding Attire 0 9
I don't understand why everyone says to be mindful of price as may not be in bridesmaids budget.


Its your wedding and you're the one whose asked that certain person to be bridesmaid, so why should they have to pay for their attire.

I don't expect anyone to pay for my wedding let alone ask my wedding party to pay for their outfits.
If I was a bridesmaid and I was told I had to pay for my dress, etc, I'd turn around and say "I'd be honoured to share in your special day but I can't afford to buy something I'll probably never wear again". If you can't afford their outfits then that's telling you something.

9 Comments

Latest activity by Jacqueline, on December 9, 2022 at 9:19 PM
  • B
    VIP July 2017
    Becky ·
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    In some parts of the world it is customary for bridesmaids to purchase their own attire; thus brides are told they should be mindful of their bridesmaids' budgets. In others the bride purchases their bridesmaids' attire, so it is the brides' budget that matters. If you ask about bridesmaids' dresses here, people are answering from their own experiences, so if their answers will speak to the custom to which they are used.

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  • Lisa
    Legend July 2022
    Lisa Online ·
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    I think it depends on what's customary in your circle. In every wedding that I've been in the wedding party for, I've paid for my own attire, as well as hair and makeup, and I was totally OK with it. It's certainly a kind gesture to cover attire for your wedding party, but it also depends on what's typical in your group of friends/family.
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  • Michael
    Master October 2023
    Michael ·
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    A friend that got married had very little money for the wedding but the bridesmaid couldn't afford her own dress. So my friend paid for it. It is best to figure out the details (of costs and expectations) before being a bridesmaid or asking someone to be one. How many have properly shared this info?

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  • Michelle
    Champion December 2022
    Michelle ·
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    It depends on location. In Europe, it’s customary for the bride and groom to cover all expenses of their attendants: clothes, shoes, hair/makeup, lodging, transportation, etc.. In America, the bridesmaids and groomsmen cover all of their own expenses: clothing, shoes, jewelry/accessories, hair/makeup, lodging, transportation. The exception to that is that as hosts, you are responsible for covering all food/beverage costs.


    In addition to your comment, many people don’t understand or care that many women don’t enjoy being a bridesmaid and it has nothing to do with the bride covering their costs. They may have had a bad experience causing emotional strain and/or financial strain. Contrary to popular belief, not everyone finds being a bridesmaid to be an honor and countless ladies say they would rather be a guest instead. That flies in the face of people who insist “they won’t have any idea that we love them unless they agree to being a bridesmaid or a made up role because being a guest is a garbage role in comparison.”
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  • Michael
    Master October 2023
    Michael ·
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    It is better to ask whether someone wants to be a bridesmaid or be a guest? If not asked in that fashion, it may be hard to reject being a bridesmaid.

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  • M
    VIP August 2021
    Michelle ·
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    Oh, I would definitely decline being a bridesmaid if asked now. I've put in my 8 turns. I would rather wear my own clothes and give 7-10 hours to the happy couple, versus 18 (6am- 2am). I would also rather not sit at another outdated head table, but with my husband. But, it's not for costs of a dress or multiple party weekends that I would decline. You can support your friends without wearing a matching bland dress.

    My 2 cents, but I do think bridesmaids are a young girl's game. At a certain age, it's really about you and your FS, not organizing others and dressing them.

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  • M
    VIP August 2021
    Michelle ·
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    OP, I agree with you it is more considerate to pay for all your attendants' attire if it's your wedding. I wonder if others are willing to do it to help offset the couple's cost of the wedding. Or they do so out of tradition. In my circle, I've always paid for the dress, paid to fly in for party weekends, paid to host showers. I never considered another way or declining.

    I also do not agree when couples pay for some attendants' attire, but not others. This always comes out and turns out badly. It's better to choose less expensive attire and rentals than to humiliate friends by putting their financials out there.

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  • Kaitlyn
    Dedicated October 2023
    Kaitlyn ·
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    I think it depends on where you’re from and your culture. In the US, it is fairly common for the bridesmaids to pay for their own dresses.
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  • Jacqueline
    Savvy July 2023
    Jacqueline ·
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    I have been in several weddings. Some of the brides paid for the attire, others did not. It depends on the couple and their means.


    My braidsmaids will be purchasing their own attire, however I am allowing them to choose their own dress within whatever they feel comfortable spending. Our groomsmen are renting their attire with the exception of one who can't afford it so we will be paying for his.
    The decision to be a bridesmaid (at least where I'm from in the states) comes with the expectation that it will cost you money and a whole lot of time. How much of each depends on the bride lol. I would have definitely said no to at least one of the brides had I known what was coming ($300 dress, $200 shoes, 2 nights at a $350 per night hotel, and so much more). It is important to be upfront with your wedding party about expectations and if them being in your wedding is important and they can't afford something, offer to help. Just my personal opinions. Ultimately, it is your wedding day and to each their own. Just let people know what is expected, so they can make an informed decision.
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