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Just Said Yes December 2018

She wants me to sign a prenuptial agreement.

Diego, on June 29, 2018 at 3:46 AM Posted in Planning 0 12

I am about to marry a rich American woman. I admit, it is quite overwhelming how much wealth she has. I guess I just got lucky on that day I met her. For the record, I do not live in the US; I am from a foreign land and I just lived there for a short time when I met her. I came up to her and talked to her for a while. Gladly, she was friendly enough to talk to me and that started everything. We hang out and eventually, I asked her out on a date which she gladly approved. We dated for two years and that’s when I finally decided it was time to tie the knot. I proposed for marriage and she held out her hand for me to slip the ring. After our first date as fiances, she invited me to her house. I thought we were just going to her condominium unit where we usually go when she says “my house.” I was surprised when we actually arrived at this big house and she tells me she actually lives there. Yup, I was just mind blown. As we went inside, I was greeted by her parents and a lawyer who is holding out a paper for me to sign. Yup, I was mind blown, again. It was a prenuptial agreement. Wait, what? It was stated that whatever happens to our marriage in the future, I won’t have anything to do with their wealth. I stormed out of the house, of course. Seriously, is this what women from USA think of foreign men? Enlighten me, please?

12 Comments

Latest activity by Victoria, on June 29, 2018 at 8:08 AM
  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    I don't think this has anything to do with your nationality. If that was the issue, she clearly wouldn't have agreed to marry you. If my family was wealthy, I would protect myself as well.

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  • Kiwibride
    Super November 2018
    Kiwibride ·
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    What exactly is your problem with the request? Unfortunately sometimes marriages don't work out despite what how we feel going into it. When people come into a relationship with unequal assets, it's smart to protect that just in case. Think of it like buying insurance just in case something bad happens. You don't want to think about needing it but it's the smart choice to protect yourself and your family.

    Unfortunately she handled this poorly. She should have talked to you about it privately so that you could think about it rather than put you on the spot with her parents.

    Sit down with her and discuss it properly. Try and understand why this is important to her. If you decide to go ahead with it, it shouldn't be a one sided document. Talk it over with your own lawyer and decide if you have any assets from prior to the relationship that you'd like to protect. Go through the details and make sure you agree with all of it or want some amendments. Just be open to listening and remember not to take this personally
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  • Robyn
    Expert October 2018
    Robyn ·
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    It's very common for in the USA to have a prenup when there is a gap in premarital wealth and/or income.
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  • Heather
    Expert August 2018
    Heather ·
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    While I don't think it was fair of her to literally drop her parents and her lawyer with a prenup on you like that ( I feel this is something that should have been discussed before that point ), I understand her want and need for one. Unfortunately, at least 50% of marriages end in divorce. While it isn't pleasant to think of, she is just protecting herself and her business IF anything were to happen to your relationship.
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  • Alforev
    VIP August 2018
    Alforev ·
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    My FH and I are not having a prenup, but I can tell you they are very common. However, in your situation I would have stormed out as well. She did not communicate with you and her parents should not have been dragged into that. I would be suspicious of her and that would seriously damage my trust. While prenups are totally normally, it’s also part of a conversation. Taking you to the house and having a lawyer and her parents corner you is disrespectful. If you still want to be with her, you need to talk with her privately about what her intentions are and why she wants one signed. Even though prenups are pretty self explanatory, you want to know if she has concerns that you’re just marrying her for her money. You’d end up having to sign one before the wedding, but her parents should not be involved and you should be able to talk with her about this.
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  • M
    0000
    Mim ·
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    Anytime someone has significant assets (family money, a farm, businesses, etc) or relationships that are impacted by a marriage (such as children) a prenuptial agreement is wise. Springing one on you is unwise. There should have been a real conversation between the two of you prior to a lawyer showing up.
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  • Anastasia
    Devoted October 2018
    Anastasia ·
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    My first red flag is you dated for 2 years and you didn't know she was wealthy. How well do you really know her? I believe the most important part of a relationship is communication it seems like you both need to have an honest conversation with one another.
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  • Heather
    Expert August 2018
    Heather ·
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    I thought is this, too.
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  • T
    Expert September 2018
    Tia_Fred ·
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    I think she is just being safe its very common for ppl that are very wealthy or own their own business, farm, etc. I don't think its anything bad its just for in case something happens u can't try to take half of her no ey which is very understandable.
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  • Carrie
    Devoted September 2016
    Carrie ·
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    She handled this poorly I agree, but the idea is very smart. If I was her, I would also want a prenup. It has nothing to do with your nationality.
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  • The Nuptials
    VIP July 2018
    The Nuptials ·
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    How she went about this wasn’t ideal, but I too would get a prenup in this situation. Honestly it doesn’t seem like you know each other too well if she was able to hide the big house etc from you. Take a step back and decide if this is what you want.

    Are you sure you want want to marry an American woman? You aren’t painting them in the best light.
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  • Victoria
    Super May 2019
    Victoria ·
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    I would get a prenup too if I was super rich. But I agree with everyone else that she handled it poorly and shouldn’t have put you on the spot.
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