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Savvy September 2019

Sharing vows pre-wedding

Danielle, on August 18, 2019 at 10:24 AM Posted in Wedding Ceremony 0 10

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Hey ladies! I'm currently trying to write my wedding vows and its a little tougher than I had anticipated. A few different sites I have looked at say to share your vows with your partner before the wedding/while writing them. Those that are writing their own, are you sharing them with your partner ahead of time or waiting until the ceremony? How do we create cohesion if we don't share them with each other ahead of time? Are you maybe just sharing the structure of them? I'm a little stuck as I don't want them to sound completely different, but also don't really want to share before the day of as I feel like it takes away from the emotion.

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Latest activity by Rebecca, on August 19, 2019 at 2:28 AM

Devoted October 2019
Amy · on August 18, 2019 at 10:33 AM
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We know that we’re going to just absolutely bawl our eyes out if we start to read our own vows to each other on the wedding day, so we’re going to do traditional vows on the day of and read our own vows privately before the day
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Master May 2019
Cyndy · on August 18, 2019 at 10:38 AM
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We had my friend as our officiant so we each shared our vows with her in advance so that she would know if we were kind of doing the same thing. It was funny because she read his first only with him and then was with me and read mine and she cried both times. She was shocked but how similar they were. She told both of us not to change a thing. It was a relief to share them in advance with someone. So maybe you can find someone that you both trust to share them with. Just speak from your heart.
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Savvy September 2019
Danielle · on August 18, 2019 at 10:42 AM
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Cyndy, that is a great idea!! Thank you!
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Master November 2019
Mrs. S · on August 18, 2019 at 10:43 AM
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After playing violin at so many weddings I would let them be a surprise. It’s ok if they don’t match. I played at one where the woman’s vows were very sweet and romantic and her husband’s were hilarious. We laughed we cried, it was really sweet. I wanted to write our own but my fiancé is too self conscious about it. I was disappointed but he had a military ceremony last month where he gave the sweetest little speech about me. That was all I needed. I’m going to write him a letter to be given to him the morning of.
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VIP October 2020
Samantha · on August 18, 2019 at 4:20 PM
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We’re not sharing ours. I’m going to write mine first and give him an approximate length and maybe the structure, but it’s important to both of us that they’re saved until our wedding day.
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VIP March 2019
Yoice · on August 18, 2019 at 4:30 PM
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We didn’t share ours. We talked about the direction we would take if we would be funny, romantic, serious and in reality we wanted to make it our own and however we each felt like it. We had a small and intimate wedding so we felt comfortable with that. You can discuss length of it or the general concept to make it more equal.
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Dedicated August 2019
Frankie19 · on August 18, 2019 at 4:39 PM
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We also did not share ours. When mine were almost done I gave him the structure, length and how many honest vs funny promises. We both sent them to our celebrant for him to type up and put in a booklet for us, he said he’d let us know if they were wildly different. They came out really well balanced, unique to each of us but sounded like they went together.
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Master December 2019
Cher Horowitz · on August 18, 2019 at 4:56 PM
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We're not planning to share our personal vows before the wedding. We want to surprise each other!
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VIP December 2019
Diana · on August 18, 2019 at 11:14 PM
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We’re writing our own as well. I’m not going to share them with FH because I want him to be surprised!!!
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Master August 2019
Rebecca · on August 19, 2019 at 2:28 AM
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We're writing our own and having friends and our officiant look at them. We are not sharing, however. I actually tried to pry some information out of FH today, but he zipped up tight!
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Sharing vows pre-wedding

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