Dedicated September 2016

Sharing vows before ceremony

Kiley, on August 18, 2016 at 9:26 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 10
Saved Save

I found this online and I can't tell if they're sharing vows or a love letter but I really like the idea of sharing vows before the ceremony. My FH is very nervous about saying his vows in front of a crowd. I'm not nervous but I'm one of those people who like to keep things private so I really want to do this. Of course we'll say "through sickness and in health" vows but this should be for us, right? Would that be strange?


  • Kathryn_V
    VIP March 2017
    Kathryn_V ·

    I think they are sharing a love note between the 2. It's a beautiful picture but I would save your vows for the ceremony.

  • Yasmina
    Master November 2015
    Yasmina ·

    Usually in pictures like this, its a little love note.

    You don't have to get SUPER personal and intimate in your vows that you say in front of everyone.

    Keep it short, I think Celia usually mentions no more than 8ish lines.

    (Make sure you both talk about how long yours are going to be...you want to be close to the same length. Super awkward if yours are 3 paragraphs, and his are 2 lines, etc)

    If you want to say something to your FH that is very personal and intimate without sharing/broadcasting to everyone, maybe write him a note to share before or after the ceremony. That way you can still tell him everything you want to, but its just between the two of you.

  • K
    Dedicated September 2016
    Kiley ·

    My FH just called me an he definitely wants to do this privately.

  • Lynnie
    WeddingWire Administrator October 2016
    Lynnie ·

    Hi Kiley! I think this is so sweet! FH and I aren't doing personalized vows because we are a little more private as well, but we are going to write each other notes beforehand like this!

  • mimitrue
    Master January 2016
    mimitrue ·

    We weren't allowed to read our vows for our ceremony because it was Catholic wedding so we wrote vows to read privately with our videographer. So we have video of me reading his and him reading mine so raw emotion was captured since it was private. I love those videos!

  • Marty
    Dedicated September 2017
    Marty ·

    You can do whatever you want because its your all's day

  • Celia Milton
    September 2019
    Celia Milton ·

    Lots of my couples write private vows to each other and then we do a repeat after me style during the ceremony. You might have more to say to each other than what is appropriate, content and length wise, for the ceremony.

    Here is the ugly truth, lol...

    When we get to the vows, the entire audience knows that it's almost over. They are looking for short, sweet, meaningful, and prelude to wine. Very long vows are almost counter productive; by the end, no one remembers the beginning and the impact is gone.

    Four short lines of what you love about them. Four short promises; they can be funny, poignant, personal. The end. Do not retell your story. Do not thank your friends and family; that's not what vows are about.

    My 'mad lib' vow generator is at http://pinterest.com/celiamilton, along with some other vow ideas (and now you just reminded me that I slacked yesterday and forgot to post, but I will later on!)

  • annakay511
    Master July 2015
    annakay511 ·

    Change your avatar!!

    Settings > Profile and Privacy Settings > Account Image > Change Image > Upload > Update Profile Settings

  • I am Mrs. rjd
    Super September 2016
    I am Mrs. rjd ·

    We are doing private letters to each other before but just going with the regular vows. FH said he wouldn't know what to say if we wrote our vows and I'm afraid I'll get too wordy and bore people to tears, so traditional works best for us.

  • Jackie
    Devoted November 2016
    Jackie ·

    We are writing personal vows, but actually saving them until after the ceremony is over. we have the plan with our photog to steal us away so we have a private moment (we also have decided that we want to be ridiculously personal, but not in front of others) and she can also capture it on her long lens from far away.

Comment on this discussion