Shared Bridal shower

Your shouldn't have to share your bridal shower with anyone else. Speak now or forever hold your peace!

Unless every single guest to the showers in invited to BOTH weddings, I wouldn't do it.

Unless every single guest to the showers in invited to BOTH weddings, I wouldn't do it.

Yeah that would be a big NO for me!

I couldn't imagine going to a double bridal shower because of how long it would take to open gifts!!

Explain to FMIL that you don't want everyone sitting there for hours watching the both of you.

That's a tough situation since they're throwing it for you, so you can't really TELL them anything. "I don't want to share" is not a good enough excuse (or not an excuse you can say out loud to people who are offering to throw a party for you).

Maybe say that you're concerned that her guests might feel pressured to buy a gift for you without any real connection to you, and vice versa. You want your guests and hers to be as comfortable with the whole thing as possible, and you don't think a combined shower is the best way to do that.

On the other hand, if the guest list is going to be ONLY the family of FH and his cousin, it could be nice to be combined. I've heard of multiple showers to appeal to multiple types of guests, so maybe it isn't a problem at all.

I agree that unless all guests would be invited to both weddings, it shouldn't be done. If they were trying to help family from not traveling in town twice, they could always do back to back showers. Have one from 1-3 then from 3-5 or something. Mutual guests could stay through both but the others could only come to the one.

I could maybe I understand this if it were your cousin who was also getting married, you two were bffs, and it's was just going to be your mutual side of the family so the guest list would have complete overlap. But it's his cousin. Or is it his cousin's fiancee and your mom and FHs's aunt are the MOGs, making the two of you brides even further removed from each other? I think it would be more than a little awkward.

Hell no! Plus it'd take forever!

Say NO now. This is like a awkward situation.

OMG ABSOLUTELY NOT.

I also feel like this makes it about their family, and ignores yours/hers.

How does SHE feels about this?!

I dont know how she feels about it, not sure how to ask. I dont know her that well. Big family and she is marrying in as well. I dont want me or her to feel awkward either!

No no no.

I imagine a lot of people won't be going to both weddings. And you shouldn't have to share your shower with anyone(except your FH, if you were to have a couples' shower).

ETA: I just saw, you said you don't know her very well? Definitely have separate showers.

Awkward! I would definitely speak up! It is sweet of your FMIL to offer to throw a shower for you and her, but it seems weird. As a guest, I would be really confused/uncomfortable...am I expected to bring a gift for each of you even if I don't know the other bride?

Has she said what her reason for wanting to do them together is? If it is financial or because it is easier (time wise), perhaps you can tell her that while you prefer to have separate showers, you would be willing to help with yours however you can or with what she needs.

I wouldn't do it because it's super awkward for your guests, since the lists probably don't have a lot of overlap. If I was invited to a joint bridal shower like this where I didn't know the other bride, I'd be annoyed because I'd have to either

1) get a second gift for someone I don't even know (which will decrease what I can spend on your gift),

2) feel guilty if I decide not to get the other bride something,

3) decline the invitation because I don't even want to deal with it,

4) be annoyed while I was there because I have to watch two people open gifts, and one of them I don't even know so I don't really care that much

Decline, decline, decline.

Uh no. It's his cousin, it's not like your fmil is her mom. And seeing as how it's his cousin, you probably don't know a lot of their guest list. And as pps have said, you can't overlap when all guests aren't invited to both weddings. Not only that, but if your wedding is in April I imagine your shower would be February or so, I would be confused why I got a shower invitation for a wedding that was almost 6 months away for the cousins wedding.

No, I'm stingy! I'm not sharing anything.