Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

Dedicated July 2021

Severing Ties

MaryElena, on January 28, 2020 at 6:26 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 13

Saved

Flag
Hide content

Hi there.
It is rare for me to disclose such a deeply personal dilemma. However, I have found the WeddingWire community to be such a strong source of comfort and support when applicable. I have recently been conflicted with the decision to either salvage a relationship with a family member or respectfully request to sever ties. She has burdened me with intense condemnation. She is considered to be a “born again” Christian. Being raised Roman Catholic regardless of being surrounded by tremendously supportive parents and several loving friends and family, it seems to me that unless I conform to her “acceptable” standards that she truly believes I don’t share an authentic relationship with God. This of course in numerous ways has caused me an abundance of distress. I am afraid I can no longer sustain a relationship with a family member who can’t respect boundaries (she believes they’re non-existent), who feels she is allowed to pass unsolicited judgement. She has proven time and again that she lacks empathy and she continuously reminds me that her beliefs are not up for debate. Ultimately, if I do sever ties, does this choice make me seem unchristian? Have any other couples encountered similar situations? Please share your thoughts.

Thank you for your support.

Flag
Hide content

13 Comments

Latest activity by Nicole, on February 2, 2020 at 12:05 PM

Master September 2019
Sarah · on January 28, 2020 at 6:34 PM
Flag

Hide content
It is important to do things that benefit your health- mental and physical, regardless of your religious beliefs. If this family member can not respect boundaries and is causing you emotional distress, you need to cut ties with them.
- Reply
Super March 2020
Jennifer · on January 28, 2020 at 6:42 PM
Flag

Hide content
As a Christian, her behavior is unacceptable. Her belief isn't the worlds belief and therefore she shouldn't harp on people who chose to live differently. You need to surround yourself by positive people whether religious or not. You have every right to severe ties and in fact I would do it as soon as possible. You don't owe her anything and you certainly don't owe her your happiness.
- Reply
Dedicated July 2021
MaryElena · on January 28, 2020 at 6:50 PM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment
Thank you so much for this encouraging sentiment. My FH and I have ultimately decided to not invite her to our wedding. After several days of contemplation, I am truly grateful to have reached out!
- Reply
December 2020
Shelly · on January 28, 2020 at 7:20 PM
Flag

Hide content
I believe you made the best choice for yourself by not inviting her. We are all entitled to our beliefs, but, aren't entitled to push them on others.
- Reply
Dedicated October 2020
Alexis · on January 28, 2020 at 7:23 PM
Flag

Hide content
We often feel the need to tolerate behavior from family that we would never tolerate from a friend or acquaintance. I read many posts where couples are struggling because they feel they have to invite a relative just because they are family and the answer is absolutely not. Protecting yourself is not unchristian, it’s healthy and necessary.
- Reply
Super February 2020
Andrea · on January 28, 2020 at 7:46 PM
Flag

Hide content
If she is not supportive and toxic to you then you should sever ties. I have already done that with many family and friends and it feels like a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders cause I can focus on me and what I want instead of dealing with people who will judge you non-stop.
- Reply
Dedicated April 2021
Flame Princess · on January 28, 2020 at 7:59 PM
Flag

Hide content
I have a cousin like this, and I have told family Id like to not invite her. No one has objected, even her own mother and our grandmother. Put some feelers out with yours and explain why
- Reply
Master November 2020
Kristen · on January 28, 2020 at 8:08 PM
Flag

Hide content
Christians are not supposed to judge each other so you cutting times is keeping out negativity in your life and that has nothing to do with your relationship with God. Religious or not you should not have to deal with negativity and she will alienate more people.
- Reply
Legend March 2017
Pirate & 60s Bride · on January 29, 2020 at 12:48 AM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment
This. Nobody is allowed to pass judgement except God. Her behavior is not Christian-like nor is good for your emotional or spiritual well-being. It’s acceptable to set boundaries or sever ties for your own safety. Trust your own relationship with God for guidance.

And big hugs! I hate confrontation--it’s scary! But having found my voice in my 40’s, my life is sooo much more peaceful and healthy now that I put my well-being first. Yay me! Yay you! 🤗
- Reply
Master November 2020
Kristen · on January 29, 2020 at 5:37 AM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment
Preach. Family or not I remove people from my life when they are drama filled or disrespectful. You don't need that.
- Reply
Devoted September 2020
Mandee · on January 29, 2020 at 10:01 AM
Flag

Hide content
I'm not inviting anyone from my mother's side of the family at all. Period. They've been nothing but rude to my mother for years and I will not have them there to upset her on the day of my wedding. I'm agnostic and my Mormon family respects my religious non-belief without pushing at me. If they didn't then we wouldn't be speaking!
- Reply
Legend July 2019
MrsD · on January 29, 2020 at 12:07 PM
Flag

Hide content
If she can't respect your boundaries and causes you distress every time she is around, I think severing the relationship is completely acceptable. Another option would be just to see her much less than you did prior, if you aren't comfortable with severing. I don't think cutting someone out of your life who is toxic makes you "unchristian".
- Reply

Super October 2021
Nicole · on February 2, 2020 at 12:05 PM
Flag

Hide content
I don't think you're in the wrong to severe ties. She has no right to pass judgement based on how your religious view differ, and it does not make you unchristian to sever ties. Your mental health and well being is more important the pleasing a toxic person.

Much power and prayers to you
- Reply

Family & Friends The 29 Best Bride-to-Be Gifts for Before They Tie the Knot Searching for a gift for the bride-to-be? From pampering products to planning...

Wedding Guests How to Attend a Wedding If You Have a Severe Allergy If you're someone with a severe food allergy, attending a wedding can come with...

Post content has been hidden

Severing Ties

13 Comments

Related articles