Setting a date on my daughter's birthday weekend

I don’t understand why she’d care about this! My wedding is on my bridesmaid’s birthday, she thinks it is funny and keeps referring to my wedding as her “birthday party” as a joke hahaa. I have a close family friend getting married 2 days before my birthday this year too and I feel like their wedding will actually be a fun way to spend my birthday weekend, probably more exciting than anything else I’d do! Lol. I don’t see why she can’t celebrate her birthday on a different day, even... on her actual birthday which you said is the day after? Idk doesn’t seem like a 30 year old should get to call dibs on an entire weekend for her birthday. Is there a reason why she doesn’t want your wedding that day? Does she have anything planned for her birthday weekend? Or does she just not want anything else celebrated then??

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I agree!

OP, is she turning 30 (or 31?) on Friday and you are getting married Saturday and will have events on Friday too so she can't have a big blow out 30th birthday party?

I do remember having a big fun 30th birthday when I turned 30, but I would like to think my parents happiness is more important than my birthday.

On that note, were going to get married on my parents' birthday and I asked if they were okay with it. They said they were delighted to share the day with me, and my dad was corny enough to say best birthday gift ever!

She will get over it (she better...she IS 30). You are trying to be considerate to everyone and trying to please everyone doesn't work. Like ever. Do it that day and she will have to take the L for a weekend that she does NOT own. You do what's best for you and give notice so she can do her celebrating the weekend before. Unless she's scheduled a trip, she shouldn't be bellyaching about this. Cheers!

She is 30 and complaining that your wedding is the day BEFORE her birthday? It’s not even her actual birthday so she can absolutely still celebrate. Your wedding does not impede her special day.

Even if it was her birthday, it would still be ok. Many people go school on their birthday, take tests on their birthday, play in sporting events on their birthday, go to work on their birthday, and generally do unenjoyable things on their birthday... the world does not stop because it’s their birthday.

Was she planning an out of town trip? I’d prioritize my mom’s wedding over my bday. I don’t mind celebrating bday or holidays on a different date. Can you talk to her more about it?

If it were me, I wouldn't care. I've had 24 birthdays, I certainly don't need anymore. Especially the day before, I can just celebrate the next day or weekend before or after. I think you are fine and she can deal with it. She's 30 years old.

She's an adult I think it's fine. We were looking at a week or two before my parents (joint) birthday and they liked it because they will get to see all their family and then enjoy their birthday like a vaycay from the wedding!

She’s 30

i feel like by 30 I would think you can act in your interest instead of hers

i hope that she will reflect and be more understanding in the future

is she married?

I'm just going to simply say, she's 30, an adult. If it's that big of a deal have a birthday cake for her at the reception.

I would not care at all if my mom wanted to get married my birthday weekend if anything I’d be excited!

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Yes, she and her husband just celebrated their fourth wedding anniversary....not only did I support all of her decisions regarding her wedding, I paid for it. Thank you for your reply :-)

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No, she didn't have any plans that I know of. And yes, I do plan on talking to her about all of this, just wanted to post this question to make sure I wasn't completely out of line and to get others opinions. Thanks for your reply!

View Quoted Comment I would point blank ask her to recall the event and remember that it’s your turn now and she can still enjoy her birthday celebrations because it’s not the same day... or can not attend if she has weekend plans

View Quoted Comment Now I would not do this personally but that’s because I feel it’s condoning bad and immature behavior

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She's turning 31 on Saturday, we are planning a Friday evening wedding, the day before her birthday.

I feel the same, if someone, especially one of my kids, decided to get married on my birthday I would be honored, not offended. Thanks for your response, just wanted to know if I was out of line.

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She doesn't have any plans that I know of. I think she just wanted the weekend to be hers, which I don't understand. Thanks for your reply. :-)

View Quoted Comment To be honest, I saw it as a "here you go, sit down and be quite". No singing or wishing her a happy birthday, just bring it out and put it at her seat.

It is completely unreasonable for anyone to expect anyone, family or friends, not to set a wedding ir other function on their birthday, the day before, or after, or the weekend. Unless, it is a milestone for which they have already engaged a venue, caterer, etc. Which you would know. Adults are told happy birthday on the day. But birthdays are celebrated with activities and parties on nearby good dates. She is being childish. It is yours to celebrate, having given birth to a wonderful person on that date. If you want to get married on that lucky day, do it! One of my husband's sisters started this, well not on my birthday routine, til FMIL basically told her to shut up, and stop acting like 24 year old going on 3 . That night, for a giggle, I pulled a small card calendar from my purse, and circled the day of, and before and after, three day oval around my parents and all brother and sister's birthdays, and asked FI for his. My 10 plus his 15, plus our own, 27 3 day periods. He took a pic, sent it to his Mom's email. She called twenty five minutes later, said she printed it, and added the husbands, wives, and children of FI sisters and brothers. Another 28. And was sending it to her daughter saying, just when do people in this family get to have a wedding? It made the point. The sniveling if sister stopped. I swear, some people could stand shoulder to shoulder with a line of ten people, look in a mirrored wall, and see only themselves. Scheduling to increase the number of people who will not be unable to come for a variety of reasons, like work, scheduled surgery, moving dates, graduations, is hard enough. Birthdays do not go on the list.

I say have your wedding she’s being unreasonable. She can go out Saturday and celebrate or celebrate any other weekend