Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

Devoted July 2020

Seriously???

Stacey, on June 3, 2019 at 10:48 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 29

Saved

Flag
Hide content

Ok. I just need to vent. My FH and I live together and have for awhile. This marriage will be the second for both of us. I’m getting a very nice bonus check this week where I can pay off some bills and use toward the wedding. Could probably refinance house into cheaper payment as well. Anyway, for awhile FH has wanted a larger TV...I’m talking 75”. Anyway, when he found about my bonus check he planned on using it to buy a TV. I wouldn’t care if we didn’t have wedding stuff to pay for. So, we got into an argument and I tried to explain my side that we need to use the money wisely. He even asked me if I really thought spending the money on TV wasn’t wise. Ummmm...not when we already have 6 TVs that are working. Our air conditioning unit may be going out so...let’s check on that first. Anyway, during the argument I said, “I guess we can just not have the wedding and buy a TV”. Well, darling FH said that’s fine, let’s just do that. I know we are both upset but I meant what I said. I will NOT plan another thing for this wedding. Our next payment on the venue is due 7/10/19. I will not be paying it. I’m sorry for my long rant. Am I wrong here for being upset about this?

Flag
Hide content

29 Comments

Latest activity by FutureStephD, on June 5, 2019 at 7:03 PM

Master December 2019
Cher Horowitz · on June 3, 2019 at 11:04 PM
Flag

Hide content
I don't think you're wrong here! Seems like you and FH were having one of those arguments that many couples have. I feel your FH didn't mean for his comment to be taken literally or to hurt you. Regardless, feelings have been hurt. Explain to FH that his words hurt you and make sure you're both on the same page regarding getting married. People can say hurtful things they don't mean in arguments, so hopefully this is the case
- Reply
Savvy December 2019
Kayla · on June 3, 2019 at 11:09 PM
Flag

Hide content
I definitely think there's an underlying issue here besides the TV. Maybe he just want a traditional wedding because you both have already experienced it once before. I would recommend you two talk and possibly counseling to find out the real reason he prioritizes a TV over yall's wedding.
- Reply
Legend June 2019
Melle · on June 3, 2019 at 11:09 PM
Flag

Hide content
Oh you are not wrong, that is so valid to feel that anger. but it was a heat of the moment type of thing you're both feeling too about paying for the wedding. You're hurt and are rightfully so, cool off and breathe. Go back in with a clear mind and talk it out.
- Reply
Savvy December 2019
Kayla · on June 3, 2019 at 11:11 PM
Flag

Hide content
On my previous discussion I meant to say maybe he doesn't want a traditional wedding.
- Reply
Devoted July 2020
Stacey · on June 3, 2019 at 11:11 PM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment
Thanks. I appreciate it.
- Reply
Devoted July 2020
Stacey · on June 3, 2019 at 11:13 PM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment
Maybe...it was his idea to go all out, not mine. He tells me he will have his bonus check in July so not to worry but my thought is, then wait and pay the bills first.
- Reply
Devoted July 2020
Stacey · on June 3, 2019 at 11:15 PM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment
Thanks. I’m so stubborn though. He will have to be the one to approach me. I usually always give in on everything but I’m sticking to my guns this time.
- Reply
Master June 2020
Anna · on June 3, 2019 at 11:20 PM
Flag

Hide content
Just the heat of the moment. Y'all are both tired and stressed had to have a release.
Bottom line...your bonus you should get to decide what to do with it...be 95% logical with the money and splurge with the rest.
You know men and their tv's🤷
He had his immature rant. Let the dust settle and figure out what the underlying issue is.
Could just be that you both are tired.
Don't lose the venue money you've already paid on an argument. You two can talk it out. Tell him he hurt your feelings, since you were only trying to help.
Good luck! Hugs to you!
- Reply
Devoted July 2020
Stacey · on June 3, 2019 at 11:21 PM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment
Thanks Anna! I appreciate it.
- Reply
Master June 2020
Anna · on June 3, 2019 at 11:27 PM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment
I hope you are ok.
- Reply
Devoted July 2020
Stacey · on June 3, 2019 at 11:31 PM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment
I am. Just hurt and disappointed. Thanks for asking.
- Reply
Savvy November 2021
Victoria · on June 4, 2019 at 12:21 AM
Flag

Hide content
My Fiancé andI used to have a lot of finance fights. We went to a Financial Peace University class and it really was transformational. Since then (March graduates) we’ve had no fights about money whereas money “disagreements” were a constant thing. I would suggest investing in that class and hold off on doing anything with your bonus check prior to then.
- Reply
Devoted July 2020
Stacey · on June 4, 2019 at 12:25 AM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment
Thanks. That’s a good idea. I’m glad it worked out for you.
- Reply
Savvy November 2021
Victoria · on June 4, 2019 at 2:21 AM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment
Yes it worked better than I ever could have imagined. We don’t believe in all of the taught principles. But most of the big ones we did and it’s been great!
- Reply
VIP June 2019
Cheryl&rock · on June 4, 2019 at 6:44 AM
Flag

Hide content
Wedding planning can bring out the worst on us!!! The zillas aren't just limited to the brides!
You have a right to be hurt, but look at what you said about canceling the wedding. That may have hurt him too and he retaliated!
Both of you are stressed. Finances can make a couple argue worse than anything, well kids too! Lol
Cool down, talk, kiss and make up!
Remember you both love each other! Compromise!! Marriage/living together takes a lot of comprimising!!
Good luck hun!
- Reply
Master June 2020
Anna · on June 4, 2019 at 8:03 AM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment
I don't blame you. I would be too! Hope it gets better!
- Reply
VIP June 2019
Formerbride · on June 4, 2019 at 8:31 AM
Flag

Hide content
Nope, I don't think you're wrong. That goes beyond wedding planning issues. Not being like minded with finances can be very bad for a relationship. My FH just got a bonus yesterday. I couldn't imagine telling him how to spend it, especially frivolously. Actually, we "need" a new TV. Our main TV broke the day of my bridal shower. We moved the one from our guest bedroom downstairs and honestly, I forget that we even have a broken TV hanging out in our guest room. That stuff doesn't matter.
- Reply
Super August 2019
Tina · on June 4, 2019 at 9:42 AM
Flag

Hide content
I think TV means more to men than just about anything. This is the proof right here. LOL. Your not wrong. But just give it a few days and re-discuss when you both cool off. My honey keeps saying we should just have the two of us at our ceremony somewhere on a desert island and spend all the money on the honeymoon. If I hear him say that ONE more time! I have thousands of dollars out there I will never get back. They don't get it. Sorry this happened
- Reply
Super March 2019
FutureStephD · on June 4, 2019 at 11:15 AM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment

This is great! I always love to hear when people liked the University and put it to use. We haven't done FPU ourselves, but I'm working with a financial planner that's "endorsed" (?) by Dave Ramsey/ FPU(?). Is financial planning part of the program too?
- Reply

Master January 2019
FutureMrsKC · on June 4, 2019 at 1:33 PM
Flag

Hide content
Um, that is your money and YOUR bonus check. Regardless of the "what's mine is yours" you should have total control over what that money goes towards. If you have other things to tend to such as bills and your AC unit, it doesn't sound like your FH is very smart with money management.
I'd be having financial conversations with him and why he thinks he can spend your money on things that aren't needed. I'd also consider keeping seperate accounts even after marriage so he cannot go and blow your money without you knowing one day and cause a bigger issue.
- Reply