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Dedicated June 2021

Sending send the dates

Tiffany, on July 15, 2020 at 9:10 AM Posted in Planning 0 14
So I’m not doing STDs with the “formal invitation to follow” because I want everyone to RSVP on my wedding website. Only a select few will have formal invites and that’s for the older guests that aren’t tech savvy. I’m sending STDs but it will also act as the invite with the wedding website indicated on them. So when should I send them out to my guests? My wedding is next June.

14 Comments

Latest activity by Tiffany, on July 15, 2020 at 4:29 PM
  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    If you don’t want to send two different things, then you should stick with invitations. You can get away with no save the dates, you can’t skip invitations.
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  • Meghan
    Master October 2019
    Meghan ·
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    I agree with Caytlyn. Save the dates are not invitations. They give very limited information. You will need to send a formal invitation. You can still do online RSVP (we did), but invitations are basically a must, save the dates are not.

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  • T
    Dedicated June 2021
    Tiffany ·
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    Ok because I was thinking of doing magnets. When would I send them out?
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  • Meghan
    Master October 2019
    Meghan ·
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    Invitations are typically sent 6-8 weeks before your wedding date.

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  • Chelsea G
    Devoted June 2021
    Chelsea G ·
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    I would ask on the wedding invite to RSVP via the wedding website and then include RSVP cards only in the invites for older guests. Not every sends a save the date and I think they're really only necessary if you have a lot of out of town guests or have the wedding during a time people may need to plan in advance.

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  • D
    June 2021
    Dj Tanner ·
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    This may not be the best advice, but I suggest sending out your “save the dates-invites “ like four months before your actual wedding. You definitely want to somehow address that invites will be only done through the wedding website that way people aren’t waiting for the invitation. I say four months because I feel like this gives people enough time to make arrangements to attend, but it’s also not too early were people might forget your wedding.
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  • Sexypoodle
    Master October 2021
    Sexypoodle ·
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    I agree! If you’re only sending one notice about your wedding, then I think 4 months is a good middle ground.
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  • Hanna
    VIP June 2019
    Hanna ·
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    Just so you know, tons of people send out formal invitations with instructions to RSVP on the couple's wedding website. That's what we did, and it worked out really well! If you only want to send out one or the other, then I'd agree with the PPs to send invites to all and skip save the dates.

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  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    Send invitations 4 months in advance isn’t a good idea. Plans change and most people can’t give a definitive yes or no to something so far out, especially in the times of Covid when things are progressing and changing so quickly. There’s a good chance that this will still be a factor next spring/summer. If you send them out this early, you will more than likely have guests reaching out to you closer to the wedding to change their RSVP. Invitations typically go out 6-8 weeks before the wedding, but without a STD, I think it’s safe to push it out to 8-10 weeks.
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  • Jodie
    Expert August 2020
    Jodie ·
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    I would not recommend Save the Dates in lieu of an actual invitation. Save the dates-especially magnets as you mentioned in a previous reply- would not give out NEARLY enough information for people. Save the dates basically only have the couples name, date, maybe the city of the wedding, and sometimes the website whereas the invites have the date, time, specific location, formality, reception information, accommodations, etc.

    As previous posters have mentioned, you can still ask them to RSVP on your website, but it is also a good idea to give people another option (such as the RSVP card) since you can't expect everyone to be comfortable doing it online- (it's not just elderly people who are not always tech savvy...)

    Additionally, I would not recommend sending them out 4 months in advance of your wedding. That is too far in advance to know if you can positively attend something. Our original plan was to send out Save the dates around January for our August wedding as most of our guests were local (within a couple hour drive) but we wanted to give plenty of notice to our out of state family and friends. I had ordered save the dates and had just started sending some of them out then covid hit. Due to the uncertainty of everything in the early stages of covid we stopped sending out the Save the dates and instead just sent our invitations out at the beginning of June, giving everyone a two month window to decide on time off, travel, covid restrictions, etc. I think 8-10 weeks is sufficient to send out the invites. If you are concerned about out of state or travelling friends having enough notice you can always send something to those guests or even a virtual save the date to give them a heads up.

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  • Eri
    Super October 2020
    Eri ·
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    Agree with the PPs.

    We sent out STDs in February, will be sending invites at the beginning of August (and having people RSVP on our wedding website with the option of an insert for less tech-savvy guests), with our wedding on 10/10.

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  • Cassi
    Expert August 2022
    Cassi ·
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    This was really insightful! I have also been wondering what to do about save the dates and invites. We are having a micro wedding and I wanted to send save the dates as a form of keepsake and also a courtesy on when to officially plan.
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  • J
    Master October 2022
    Jana ·
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    Save the dates are optional but very helpful for people who need to schedule vacations from work and make travel arrangements so they are not for out of area guests only. Formal invitations are required and sent out 6-8 weeks before the wedding regardless. On your reply card, say 'please reply at website. com '.


    Honestly people have gotten married for decades if not centuries before the invention of save the dates with near 100% attendance.
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  • T
    Dedicated June 2021
    Tiffany ·
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    All of your responses have been extremely helpful and definitely has me thinking now about my options
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