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Just Said Yes August 2022

Sending Engagement Cards to People We Can’t Invite?

Jessica, on January 8, 2021 at 10:41 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 7
My fiancé and I are starting to plan a smaller wedding in 2022 due to the pandemic. We are hearing that there may still be risks and restrictions even in 2022 due to the pandemic, so our guest list will be 30-40 people.


We have a lot of extended family we will have to leave out, but we’d rather go the safer route and plan a smaller wedding that we know can take place, than a larger wedding with the potential that we’ll have to cut down our guest list and send “you’re no longer invited” cards in the future.
We want to be respectful and still let our extended family and friends know that we are planning a wedding and are thinking of them, so we had this idea to send engagement cards in a few months with a note on the back. The note will let them know we are engaged, but that we are proceeding with planning a small wedding in 2022 because we believe the pandemic will still cause restrictions on large events/gatherings. We will let them know that we wish we could celebrate with all of our loved ones, but that we must keep everyone safe. It won’t exactly tell them they’re not invited, but it will let them know our plans in advance so they can be more understanding once they hear the news and see photos of our wedding next year. Is this a kind approach or should we not send anything at all?

7 Comments

Latest activity by Jessica, on January 9, 2021 at 11:30 PM
  • W
    VIP September 2020
    Willow ·
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    Rather than engagement cards, I'd send out wedding announcements after you get married. Avoid a lot more confusion that way
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  • C
    Master January 2019
    Cassidy ·
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    I personally wouldn’t send anything at all. I think if I received a card, but then not an invitation I would be upset.
    You can let people know what your plans are by word of mouth when you see them or talk to them on the phone. Or I’m sure your parents will share the information as well.
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  • Violetstorme
    Dedicated October 2022
    Violetstorme ·
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    I agree with both of the above posters. If you're going to send anything, I'd send out wedding announcements after the ceremony but there's still a chance that could make people upset that they didn't even know and leave it word of mouth. Even word of mouth, though, it's still likely that someone will find out that you might not have intended to invite if your extended family keeps in contact with anyone you do plan to invite.

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  • Michelle
    Champion December 2022
    Michelle ·
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    Send announcements after the wedding to those not on the guest list. You will create ALOT of hurt feelings..some irreparable.. if you send anything before.
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  • Krista
    Dedicated April 2020
    Krista ·
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    I think the only way you could do that is if you were going to live stream it and included that information with it on the card. If that was the case I’d also send them closer to your actual date
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  • Nicole
    Master September 2020
    Nicole ·
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    Definitely don't send announcements on any kind to people you aren't planning on inviting. Though not your intention, it would come across as very, "We're getting married and you're not invited!", which will definitely cause tension and hurt feelings unnecessarily. People should know at this point that there are restrictions due to the pandemic, and if they question you, just tell them that you are having to keep your guest list small due to restrictions (which could include health, budget, and venue restrictions). An marriage announcement after the fact would suffice.

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  • J
    Just Said Yes August 2022
    Jessica ·
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    Thank you everyone for your advice! Sounds like marriage announcements after the wedding is the way to go!
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