Send Rsvps or Online Rsvps

We sent physical save the dates and invitations but did online RSVPs.

If you're having an extremely casual backyard BBQ style wedding, online save the dates would be fine. Anything more formal I think deserves a physical save the date. Save the dates also aren't a necessity unless you're having a destination wedding, weekday wedding, or holiday weekend wedding.

I don't think online invitations are ever appropriate, but it's completely fine to have guests RSVP online as long as everyone is tech savvy.

Definitely no Facebook event.


I think some things can be done electronically, but some shouldn’t. I think an E-Save the Date is a great idea to save a little and keep it simple. There are some e-vite sites like Paperless Post that are great for this. I also think digital RSVPs are great. Most wedding websites offer the option, it’s a super convenient way to keep track of things. BUT I still think invites should be mailed. A little bit because of formality — it signifies the Importance of the event. A little because it’s a great way to get the information front of mind for everyone— it’s much harder to ignore the physical card than an email! And there is the sentimental aspect to it.
You can do simple invites for fairly cheap these days, no reason it has to be outrageous. And especially if you eliminate all the extras like details card or rsvp card, it can be perfectly budget friendly. We used Vistaprint and shopped sales and it wasn’t bad at all and we were obsessed with how they turned out.
Facebook is too casual to me — not everyone goes on enough to see it, not everyone responds to Fb events, and not everyone responds accurately (and the “maybe” option creates a real mess), but additionally, I find it to be a privacy concern. Even though the event itself can be private, people can still generally see the invite lists or comments, and I must admit I have some old Aunties I do NOT want finding me and friending me ! 🤣 haha.

View Quoted Comment Thank you!! I’ll certainly use this advice to consider, might just do invites like y’all say, since our venue is an old stone building with a great hall and it’s rather grand. I appreciate it!!

Online invites / RSVPs are super informal, so bear that in mind. Also, if you have any less tech-savvy guests, online RSVPs might be difficult for them.

Weddings are super expensive due to the catering, so that's why the physical invitations are still so prevalent. It's a more permanent and assured "Yes, we will be in attendance" so you have a super accurate headcount for your caterer and 1) don't pay for more food than you need or 2) don't have ENOUGH food for everyone who comes. If everyone you're inviting is internet-savvy, you could save some money by doing a physical mailed invitation but an online RSVP. (That way you don't have to spend the money on stamps for the return RSVP envelopes.)

I don't really see your mom's perspective on people "keeping them." The only two wedding invitations I've kept as a guest were the two weddings I was MOH in - and that's just because I'm a sentimental sap. The only person you should really be concerned about keeping an invitation as a keepsake is you and your fiancé. (Not to say some people won't keep them... but catering to someone else's possible/imagined desire to keep your wedding invitation as a keepsake is far less important that your own opinion on keeping it forever.)

I sent physical ones only to those that were senior citizens. Otherwise anyone else tech savvy I sent an email invite

We sent physical STD's and invitations, but did online RSVP's. It worked out really well and saved us money on the RSVP stationary and postage. It also was less of a hassle having keep up with RSVP cards and keeping count. Our website just did it for us!

I wanted to do online or both, but after my save the dates went out almost no one used my website. A couple ppl used it the week of my wedding and maybe 2 before my shower. So I decided to just go traditional.

We sent physical STD's and invitations and have our RSVP's go to our wedding email address.