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Just Said Yes December 2020

Secret Bar for Alcohol Ideas?

Isabella, on June 1, 2019 at 7:47 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 15

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My family, my partner, and I are all completely fine with alcohol but my partners family is not ok with alcohol. I still want my family and friends to have fun at the wedding though and we are thinking of having our wedding on New Years Eve as well which is a notorious party night. So I was thinking of maybe having some kind of secret bar or codeword at the drink station for people to get alcohol if they want to without my partners family finding out. Is this a good idea? Or should we just not have alcohol at all out of respect for his family? Anyone have any better ideas for dealing with the alcohol at the wedding situation? Thanks in advance!

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Latest activity by Jennifer, on June 5, 2019 at 2:22 PM

Devoted August 2020
Monique · on June 1, 2019 at 7:52 PM
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I don't think a secret bar would work very well. Maybe after the cake cutting, dancing, etc. People could all go out to a near bar?
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Champion October 2018
Kelly · on June 1, 2019 at 7:53 PM
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Who is paying for the wedding? If fiancés family isn’t contributing than have alcohol and they can deal with it. What about it makes them uncomfortable?
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Just Said Yes December 2020
Isabella · on June 1, 2019 at 7:53 PM
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There is no bar near us unfortunately. The wedding ceremony will be happening in rural India.
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Just Said Yes December 2020
Isabella · on June 1, 2019 at 7:54 PM
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It goes against their cultural values to drink alcohol. It is sort of a social faux pas in India to drink alcohol
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Champion October 2018
Kelly · on June 1, 2019 at 7:58 PM
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Do they live here or are just traveling in for the wedding? In America alcohol is everywhere so I would think if you are getting married here then they would know you’re going to be doing things on par with our customs here. I wouldn’t change my plans because it will be impossible to please everyone.
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Just Said Yes December 2020
Isabella · on June 1, 2019 at 8:12 PM
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We are getting married in India. I agree it is impossible to please everyone. But the wedding is a 3 day affair and falls on New Years Eve and I want to make sure people have a good time! I'm worried that a dry wedding won't be as much fun but if we have alcohol then my partners family might be offended! Tricky situation for sure...
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VIP September 2019
Trista · on June 1, 2019 at 8:32 PM
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What about just wine/beer/hard ciders. Yes there will still be alcohol, but I feel like it's classier than hard liquor. I know nothing about Indian customs though.
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VIP September 2019
latasha · on June 1, 2019 at 8:56 PM
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I come from a very religious family. My family doesn’t drink or really dance or listen to secular music at all and all of our events are dry. I do have a super fun family so we have fun either way. However since we are having a mix of people we opted to have dancing and an open bar the last two hours of the reception. My family were notified and they will be able to leave should they choose too. Maybe you can do a compromise like this.
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Just Said Yes December 2020
Isabella · on June 1, 2019 at 8:57 PM
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Oh i love this idea! This is really good. Thank you so much!
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VIP September 2019
latasha · on June 1, 2019 at 9:03 PM
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Awesome glad I could help! I like the secret bar idea lol it’s like a prohibition era speakeasy.
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VIP October 2020
Kelly · on June 1, 2019 at 9:34 PM
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If you're getting married in India and it's not welcome in their custom then why would you serve it?
I'd say if anything have a serving of wine or champagne around cake cutting time. It'll keep down the rowdiness and hopefully be low key enough for your inlaws to let go.
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Expert June 2020
Pattie · on June 4, 2019 at 9:15 PM
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Thats a great idea! I think that could be a great compromise.

I dont think that providing liquor should be offensive... but I am honestly unfamiliar with Indian customs. Would it really be a big deal? They don't need to drink at all, but would providing it for your guests be an issue?
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Expert June 2020
Pattie · on June 4, 2019 at 9:16 PM
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This is a good option as well, and a valid point.

Id look at the customs for the area and adhere to those.
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VIP September 2019
latasha · on June 4, 2019 at 10:29 PM
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I’m sure some of my family will be offended and this will be frowned upon. The thinking is if you are religious then why provide some thing that goes against what you teach and believe. So I can understand his family being offended however they also have to understand everyone doesn’t have the same views as they do.
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VIP August 2021
Jennifer · on June 5, 2019 at 2:22 PM
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Instead of a secret bar, a cash bar may be an option! That way, the people who would want alcohol can get it. I've been to a few dry weddings, and while I respect the decision of the couple, it is nice to have the option for the guests!
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Secret Bar for Alcohol Ideas?

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