Second Time Brides: Lessons Learned?

I had a big wedding the first time so this time I went for small and fun and didn’t stress about all of the “new things” people are doing now. We prioritized friends, food and music for our big day

Second timer here, for both of us!! Last time I made s lot of decisions based off of what my mother wanted, since my parents were paying for the entire thing and she used that against me to have things done her way.. this time we are paying for it, and we are doing things the way we want! Before it was a spring, religious, indoor church ceremony and reception with no alcohol and a small wedding party. This time we are having a summer wedding, light colors, a larger party, big giant reception with drinks and desserts and fun after! We are including our collective three children, and are so excited for their roles in our family’s day!

As far far as the relationship goes, I really feel that we both learned a lot from our first marriages, and have definitely used that so far to improve our communication and connections. We don’t really fight, purposefully, because we both came from really volatile unhealthy marriages before and don’t want that again.

My first wedding was in the early 90's and even though I was in my late twenties and he was 32, we were pressured by a lot of people (our moms, mainly) to do things a certain way even though we did not care for it. So we had a church wedding, a dinner and a dance and I only wanted a dinner, lol, did not care about the church part of it.

This time? We were 52, his first wedding, and we had the best wedding ever!! Only 50 people, an 11 am civil ceremony followed by lunch, no dancing, just awesome food and time to talk to EVERYONE.

Communication wise and second marriage wise, I have been with my second hubby for almost seven years, which is a third of the time I was with first hubby and this time is just easier. Granted, we don't have the stresses and strains of raising kids, but my hubby now is just so chill. My first was borderline OCD mixed with being stubborn and well.......yeah.

Please do not feel obligated to worry about proposing to your bridesmaids, signs, welcome packages, favors, etc. Pinterest has done zero favors to brides, lol.

Congratulations on finding love again!!! No more silent treatment, girl!!!!

My second wedding was a lot like my first in some ways: synagogue wedding, followed by a luncheon at a restaurant. However, I had really wanted a small wedding the first time, while he wanted to invite everyone up to second cousins, so we ended up with 80 people. Second time around, we had only a dozen. That meant I could spend time with all my guests, instead of just a brief greeting at the reception.

Well this is another round for the both of us as well. Most people told me not to wear an wedding dress or have another wedding. But I choose not to listen to them and go for it!! It may be another wedding for us, but it’s our wedding together as a couple!! Things are most definitely different the second or third time around!! We do communicate mush better that before. Good luck with your new relationship and marriage!!

Oh and one more thing: I wore the heck out of my WHITE wedding dress, lol.

View Quoted Comment Love that!

2nd marriage for me, first one for FH. First time around,I had the most bare bones city hall wedding ever. With only two of his friends, nobody from my side. I bought an olive green dress lol! Not sure what the thought process was, but I was 22. This time around 20 years later, I have an opinion and a very particular vision in mind. I’m having my teenage boys walk me down the isle in my poofy white princess gown. I’m much more vocal about what I want and don’t want in this relationship. We have very open communication, and I don’t feel taken for granted. Which makes a very big difference. This time around I feel like I’m marrying my best friend someone that really gets me. Best of luck to you!!

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I had my two college age sons as my Best Men - I love your idea!!! I had no aisle to walk down, lol, we just sort of "gathered" and got married.

You be a poofy princess, girl!!!!

View Quoted Comment Sweet! Thanks! I will be that poofy princess!

I’m also remarrying after being widowed, and that experience taught me not to sweat the small things. We decided to do this wedding however we want it, and we want the ring, the dress, party, dinner, and dancing. Why not? Life is short and love is for celebrating.

View Quoted Comment Good for you for doing what you want! Same boat here. We are sixty and some are surprised that we are having a big “do,” but why not?!

View Quoted Comment We’re in our 40’s. I bring four kiddos to our soon to be marriage. He treats the kiddos like yer we’re his very own. Their dad doesn’t have to much to do with them as it is. They go to my FH a lot more than me sometimes!!! Which is ok with me. As far as our wedding goes, FH is taking a part of the planning this go round because his last wife wouldn’t let him have his say so. Why should we for go the wedding we want just because we were married before. Now granted I’m not wearing a dress with a 10 foot train and inviting 400 people this go round!! But I’m still wearing a wedding dress!! I say to everyone who’s getting married again to have fun and enjoy ourselves!!!