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Savvy August 2022

Second thoughts on name change 😑

Spb, on August 12, 2019 at 6:56 PM Posted in Community Conversations 0 6

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I went to SSI office last Monday to change my name, and after reading so many post about name change and kids i just realized😧...
This is my third relationship... (fail the first 2) this is the first time i actually get marry legally... so i have 2 daughters (1 and 1) and with my now husband we have a 7 month baby boy☺... I decided I wanted his last name.. but just know.. i think... I will be having same last name as my boy but my daughters have their father's las name..😑 .. i can't use FAMILIY B----- in invitations, greeting cards etc etc.. bc ill feel like I'm excluding my girls.... later on.. what if my girls feel bad/sad that i have their brothers last name n not theirs... ugh so complicated... I don't regreat my past because it gave me my wonderful daughters... but its so complicated lol...
Just think/saying..

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6 Comments

Latest activity by Katie, on August 13, 2019 at 1:01 PM

Champion October 2009
2d Bride · on August 12, 2019 at 7:05 PM
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This is one of the reasons I don't like the custom of the woman changing her name on marriage. Once you establish the principle that having the same last name makes you a family, how do you explain to your children that your changing your name (on a marriage after you have them or on a divorce) doesn't mean you are no longer a family?
If you keep your own name, it's easier to explain that they were all named after their fathers, without saying that having the same last name is what makes you a family.
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Master December 2019
Monique · on August 12, 2019 at 7:33 PM
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I’m having the same issue with name changing because my fh was adopted and had two last names. I want To keep my maiden name as well as take the second of his two last names. His family wants me to take the first. If I dont Take the second we will have different last names which means our future children will have different last names than me.
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Savvy May 2021
Tiffany · on August 12, 2019 at 8:09 PM
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My mom changed her name when she remarried. I was 7. She always signed cards or holiday things with all of our first names. As I got older she’d sometimes refer as “New Name” Family but it was how we were as a family that made us a family. Not what our names were. My stepdad always treated me like his own and I called him Dad. That’s what made us family.
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Super April 2020
Anna · on August 12, 2019 at 8:35 PM
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My mom remarried. She never legally changed her last name. My mom had 3 other children with my stepdad. I never found it weird. I grew up thinking it this was a norm. But I think as kids, they become used to it. In the end it's just a name. My mom not having the same name as me, I never felt she didnt love me. My new sisters, I dont love them any less. I raised them as my own and I cant imagine my life without them. So dont think too much into it. I hope this helps.
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Expert April 2020
Heather · on August 12, 2019 at 9:12 PM
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Not sure if both last names would work well together this way, but my mom hyphenated hers (Ray-Daniels) because my siblings and I wanted her to still have our last name. So that is an option, or if it's possible, to use your girls' last names as your middle name and your FH's last name as your last name. I've never been in this situation, so just some suggestions. (:
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Super November 2019
Katie · on August 13, 2019 at 1:01 PM
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As they get older they will understand. Maybe your husband can adopt them if that is something you have considered, if not it will be okay. I have three siblings and only two of us have the same last name.
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