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Just Said Yes October 2017

Second marriage for me and a first for him

Dawn, on September 23, 2016 at 9:43 AM Posted in Wedding Attire 0 13

Because this is my second time getting married I'd like to know what is the protocol it's been a very very long time since my first wedding in 1991 and I would like to know is there a guideline of a wedding announcements engagement parties and such and yes this is his first and we're both about to be 50 next year

13 Comments

Latest activity by Michelle, on May 8, 2018 at 10:19 AM
  • Trista(soontobeSmith)
    Expert June 2018
    Trista(soontobeSmith) ·
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    I'd love to know this too. It's my 2nd marriage and his first and he's also the first one of his siblings to get married. My first marriage was thrown together in 5 days (we were engaged and the day I was to leave for boot camp I found out I was pregnant so I got a phone call by my fmil saying "be at my on Sunday by 1...you are getting married, find a dress"). So I never got to plan my wedding and I got a prom dress in white at jcpennys for my dress. It was a nice wedding but we all just stood around until the officiant said "let's do this". Because of that I wanted to actually plan a wedding and since it's his first (and last!) I wanted to make sure it was special.

    The only protocol I know of is for the bride not to wear white (which my aunt laughed and said "honey wear whatever you want, hell I wore white on my 4th(!) wedding!"). My FH doesn't care about all the rules and stuff, I got my dress in ivory cause he did say he wanted at least to see me in "white" instead of a colored dress.

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  • Chip
    Master March 2018
    Chip ·
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    No protocol, just follow etiquette and you'll be fine Smiley smile

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  • Erin Wood
    Master July 2017
    Erin Wood ·
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    It's my first and my FH second and I'm not doing anything differently. Maybe it's different since I'm the bride?? I don't know. I would say since its been so long you can do what you want. If your friends and family had just done the wedding stuff 2 years ago it would be different.

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  • Jennifer
    VIP July 2016
    Jennifer ·
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    Protocols are the same as if it was your first. This was my 3rd and his first. We chose to do a small back yard bbq and get married, but it doesn't have to be that way for you. If you want a big church ceremony and reception, then do it. If you want a small, private affair, then do it. Just make sure that the typical etiquette rules are followed; I wouldn't friendor, do a cash bar, self cater... etc.

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  • Cynthia
    Super October 2016
    Cynthia ·
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    This is my second marriage, but first wedding and FH's third wedding.

    We are pulling out all the stops. I think you should what feels right for you and your FH. This is about your union, and your celebration. And yes we both are over 50.

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  • JadedRaven
    VIP September 2016
    JadedRaven ·
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    It's 2016, none of that "you can't wear white for your second wedding" matters anymore. Follow general wedding planning etiquette and you're fine. Happy planning!

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  • Christina
    VIP September 2017
    Christina ·
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    I say treat it as if it was your first. Who cares if you have been married before? You are starting a new life with a new man. Why can't you have everything you have dreamed of with you FH? If there are specific etiquette questions you have, you can google it or use the forum search engine. If you don't find anything, we don't mind answering any questions (except hot topic questions because those are just ridiculous and shouldn't even be asked.)

    ETA: Butter fingers

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  • mlw
    Master December 2016
    mlw ·
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    I'm in the camp of "where whatever the hell you want". Your aunts response made me wanna high-five her!!

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  • SailawaySomppi
    VIP April 2018
    SailawaySomppi ·
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    Its funny, I just had this directed at me today.... I was on the phone with a coworker (who is the one who actually even brought up the wedding) who said "You've both been married before... why are you making this such a big deal and waiting so long. Don't mess with stuff, just go to the courthouse and do it."

    I hate when I feel the need to explain myself to someone, but I did. OP, here's my take.... make it special so you have something to remember when you grow old together. Wear white, have bridesmaids, pick colors, send save the dates, announcements, let someone throw you an engagement party and make it what YOU want. I want to get married on a cruise ship... well dammit, I'm getting married on a freakin cruise ship and if that includes waiting to pay for it and make it special so be it!

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  • Audrey
    VIP June 2016
    Audrey ·
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    It was my first marriage and my husband's second. We had a church wedding (I wore an ivory bridal gown) and a reception for about 65-ish people. We wanted a small intimate wedding. It didn't matter that Husband had been through it before.

    Plan the wedding you and FH want and enjoy it. Also it doesn't matter your age. I'm just south of 50 and Husband is just north of 50.

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  • Cynthia
    Super October 2016
    Cynthia ·
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    @Audrey - love the age reference. :0)

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  • Mrs Abbey
    VIP July 2017
    Mrs Abbey ·
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    This is my 2nd marriage, 1st wedding. it's my FH 1st marriage and wedding. I am having a traditional wedding. My dress is white. I didn't have any of this the first time so I am doing it right this time. Smiley smile

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  • M
    Just Said Yes September 2019
    Michelle ·
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    I’m 45 I have been married once my Fh has never been married and basically the last to get married we both have children. I never had a wedding but really don’t care about it. I want to make this special for him and his family. So I’m going slightly traditional and non traditional my boys will be walking me down the aisle I feel as if I’m a little old to be given away by my father.
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