Second Guessing Photographer (long)

If you can find another photographer, some offer packages that are digital only. They shoot all day and you get the memory card so you can pick and choose what you want to print, and what size.
It's a lot cheaper that way. Many are around $400 for the day.
Plus you can store the photos on your computer.
If you are already having second guesses about your current photographer and can get your deposit back, I would search for another....but don't cancel your current until you've found someone else.
Sounds like your current person has too much on her plate at the moment if it takes her an additional 3 weeks and she's not delivering the product you expect and paid for.

I think I would find a new photographer. That's extremely unprofessional, and I don't think that 250 photos for a wedding is much at all. Also if she didn't listen to requests for your engagement photos then she won't listen to what you want for your wedding. Even if you are giving up your deposit I think being happy with pics in the end is well worth it.

Our photographer situation was different, but we still had regrets. We couldn't afford to hire a new one (our photographer was $3,500) and just sucked it up and it is our biggest regret. They didn't get many of the pictures we wanted and were more interested in getting photos that they could submit to a bridal magazine instead of getting shots we wanted. We haven't gotten our photos back yet, but I know we will be extremely disappointed at all the things they missed even though the photos will be beautiful.

Have you discussed this with the photographer? I would start there. If you still don't feel comfortable, then definitely research other options and let your Aunt know the situation.

I'd discuss your expectations for the day to make sure you're on the same page. Then I'd look around for someone else.

No, you're not overthinking this. I would find a new photographer. If she doesn't show up the day of your wedding, you can't redo your wedding. And if you don't like the engagement photos, you probably won't like the wedding photos.

Not sure how to handle the Aunt situation - did she already pay? What does the contract say about refunds etc?

100% fire her! I am a firm believer that wedding photos are one of the most important planning elements to get right - I have seen amazing wedding photography vs. someone who saved money, and well you get what you pay for. The photos are something that you will hold onto forever! She sounds extremely unprofessional, and you have every right to get rid of her - if it wasn’t for the whole no-show thing, I might feel different, but because she did that to you, I would be done.

I searched for photographers for several months before making my decision. I actually met with one that I “thought” was perfect, but after meeting in person, I was so disappointed. I totally ghosted her afterwards (she would text and email me) and I do not regret it at all. She was was just very unprofessional, and I was so nervous that she didn’t do a contract, weird payment methods, no set number of hours/photo coverage, and that she didn’t have listed prices - which was all really weird because her website was pretty cool and professional, but totally different in person. Just remember that it is your wedding and you have a right to be picky!

Omg!! Especially she was a no-show, she should have compensated you by giving you extra images, that is completely unacceptable! I am a full-time professional photographer, and I had to reschedule a few sessions this summer because my dog was diagnosed with cancer, and she almost died. I was out of state for her surgery. To make up for it to my clients, I gave each one of them at $250 print credit. And spoke to them well in advance of their session, I can’t even imagine if I actually forgot to show up! What in the world???

If I were you, I would demand my deposit back, and look for somebody else. She’s obviously flaky, and if she can’t even beat her own deadlines, or communicate with you whatsoever, that’s not good. I would also send her this:

“Dear Photographer-
I wanted to let you know that I am very disappointed in the images we received from our engagement session. We spent two hours shooting many poses, several of which I specifically requested. None of the images I requested were included in the final ones that we got. It’s extremely frustrating to spend that much time taking pictures, only to receive a handful that we’re not of our choosing, two of which did not even show our faces. Additionally, we have received no compensation whatsoever from you regarding you failing to show for first scheduled engagement session on X date. Not only did we have to spend quite a bit of extra time preparing for and showing up to a session that didn’t happen, but I paid for hair and make up twice. You did not offer wants to do anything to make up for the added expense and time wasted do to your feet were here to show. Not only not been compensated for the no-show on your end, but you were three weeks later than promised in getting our pictures to us. And again, no compensation for me whatsoever.

I think at this point we feel it would be best to part ways, as we don’t want to have these issues when it comes to the wedding. I realize we signed a contract that’s of the retainer is nonrefundable, but given the circumstances, and your lack of communication, we feel we are entitled to receive our retainer back, which should go to Aunt C. We are happy to sign a cancellation contract if you send it over.

Thabk you,
bride & Groom”

I would not be happy with this situation. I was sure to look at complete galleries and ask how many photos we would be getting, there is no cap.
Mans just reference, we got over 250 engagement pictures back with only 4-5. Duplicated redid black and white.
If you're able, I'd find someone else. Just the fact that she was a no show with no clue what you were talking about would be enough for me!
Good luck!

Her behavior is unprofessional and completely unacceptable. I would be pissed if I paid to get my hair and makeup done and then she didn't show up. My HMUA charged me $250 for my hair and makeup for my e-pic session so I would be demanding the photographer reimburse that money through a credit on the total package. And only 10 photos?? We also had a 2 hour e-pic session and got close to 200 pics! For our wedding we got close to 800 pics! If you really want to use her then don't be afraid to speak up for yourself and explain how you are disappointed in her services and her conduct thus far and you expect more from her. If she is unwilling or unable to meet your expectations then get your deposit back and hire someone else who can meet your expectations. There is no "do over" for wedding pictures and this is one of the most important parts of your wedding. After all, when it is all said and done, your pictures will be the only thing that you have from the day.

I don't think you are overthinking. If it is was me I would be looking for another photographer and reviewing my contract to see if I can get my deposit back. Based on what I have read from your post, she would NOT be the photographer for my wedding. No question about it.