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Wess
Just Said Yes December 2022

Second guessing myself! I’m spiraling…

Wess, on February 17, 2022 at 9:37 AM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 10
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I’m spiraling. Everyday I think of backing out of marrying my fiancé. I’m 23 and he is 38. A part of me is telling me I’m settling. We both have a kid that was had before we met each other. We have no kids together. He lost his mom and dad at a young age and moved to my hometown alone. He has been here ever since a teenager. He met his child’s mom and they were together for years so he now considers her family and calls her his best friend since she is all he knows here outside of the friends he met at work. They talk everyday and he helps her with her kids that are not his. Every time we have a function he invites her and they even want us to do family trips together. Although I understand his attachment I can’t act like I like it. I haven’t talked to him about it because I know it’s sensitive for him. I feel like a sister wife. He doesn’t hide any part of their relationship from me it’s just uncomfortable.

10 Comments

Latest activity by Wess, on February 21, 2022 at 4:50 PM
  • Sarah
    Master September 2019
    Sarah ·
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    If you feel like backing out every day and you feel like you can’t be honest with him about your feelings, this probably isn’t the relationship for you. I know that can be a tough thing, especially when you’re invested in a relationship, but not being able to tell him how your feel and constantly questioning whether staying is the right move isn’t the kind of relationship you should want or the kind of relationship you should want to model for your child.
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  • Jasmine S.
    VIP May 2022
    Jasmine S. ·
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    That age difference is an immediate red flag. He's taking advantage of you because women his own age won't tolerate his behavior. He seems still attached to the mother of his kid.
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  • Jasmine S.
    VIP May 2022
    Jasmine S. ·
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    Adding: I just read your other threads. A couple weeks ago you said you called off the wedding, why are you still posting here? And you said you're 25, now you say you're 23. Either you're making this up or need professional help. If any guy stresses you out enough that you post multiple threads about him, don't marry him.
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  • Wess
    Just Said Yes December 2022
    Wess ·
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    This is how I feel deep down inside.
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  • Wess
    Just Said Yes December 2022
    Wess ·
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    I’m actually 23. I guess I’m posting multiple times because I’m not sure if I’m over reacting most of the time since I’m so young and have little to no real relationship experience. He tells me I overreact a lot and as I mature things will make sense but I wonder sometimes if he’s saying that to help or manipulate which leads to the multiple forums.
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  • Jasmine S.
    VIP May 2022
    Jasmine S. ·
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    He probably is. I recommend getting off all wedding planning sites; you shouldn't be marrying this guy.
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  • K
    Just Said Yes June 2023
    Katina ·
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    My husband and I have been married for over 20 years and we are in it for the long haul. Ms. Wess, your story is quite interesting I must say. I see there are some red flags that need to be addressed before you get married. I would definitely recommend you both to attend marriage counseling so that you understand the dynamics of what you are getting ready to get involved in. I wish you the best.

    Sincerely,

    Mrs. Sanders

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  • Melinda
    Expert March 2022
    Melinda ·
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    I would definitely take a step back before marrying this guy. All of these concerns are valid and need to be addressed. You aren't happy and that's a recipe for disaster.

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  • Sharonda
    Super January 2021
    Sharonda ·
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    Did you have these concerns before he proposed? If so, why did you accept his proposal? It’s okay to step back and work through this issue before getting married. You should not go into the marriage second guessing yourself or with these kind is concerns. Get your thoughts together and have a conversation with him - not accusing him, but telling him how you feel - and go from there. Prayers for you as you navigate through this.
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  • Wess
    Just Said Yes December 2022
    Wess ·
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    He proposed in front of my whole family
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