Second Group of Invitations

I'm just going to warn you that WW frowns upon doing this ...

View Quoted Comment Thank you for letting me know. It is an honest question. Our intention is not to just fill seats but to make sure to invite those that are important to us. this is all I could think of without inviting all 150 and hoping 30 people say no. I would hate to have to call and disinvite people. That seems worse to me then sending out a second batch of invites. However, we are in the beginning of planning and I may be wrong. That’s why I figured I would ask. I'm sure there is a better option someone can offer.

B listing is extremely rude. Also I’m not sure how that would even work logistically. Most venues need a final headcount anywhere from 10 days to a month before the wedding. If you sent out invites at the beginning of October you would need to ask for the RSVP extremely quickly which a lot of people wouldn’t be able to do. And the second round of invites would only have a few days or a week to RSVP which would be a major clue that they were b listed. Just stick with inviting 120 and save yourself the headache and hurt feelings. People understand weddings are expensive and people have to make difficult cuts.

Personal opinion, please don't take it as me being rude...but to me, b listing guests is extremely rude. You should have had your guest list figured out before a venue to accommodate all the guests you intended.

View Quoted Comment I dont think you are being rude. We were not sure of etiquette if it makes sense or not and what is why we asked. We have decided not to do that based on the feedback.

I agree about not B-listing, but also consider that save-the-dates are entirely optional AND, if you do sent them, you don't have to send them to everyone. You can just send them to your VIPs and out-of-town guests that you want to give a heads up on the timing for their travel. For generations people were invited to weddings without receiving a save-the-date and most still were able to come. If you send an STD, then that person HAS to be invited. But, if you skip the STDs for all but the absolutely most important people, you'll have some flexibility if relationships change over the next 8 -10 months. Daughter & FSIL originally had some people on their guest list (who did not receive STDs) that they later decided to cut and then added people they had become closer to since creating the original list. Also, if you send STDs to out-of-town guests, you might hear back from them that they aren't going to be able to attend, before it's time for the invitations to go out (e.g., our guest list included an international family of 7 -- we knew more than 6 months out that only two of them are going to attend). In that case, you might feel more comfortable adding a few people. For what it's worth, our target has always been 100 adults and the 4 children who are in the wedding. We sent out invitations to 127 (knowing we'd be fine with both space and finances, if all 127 accepted). The RSVP deadline is tomorrow and we're still waiting on about 20 responses -- many of which we're pretty sure we know what the answer is going to be, they are just flaky about the deadline. I'm nearly certain we're going to end up between 99-104 (including the kids)! Pretty much EXACTLY where we've always wanted to be. Good luck!

View Quoted Comment That was super helpful thank you!

I totally get where you’re coming from, and we had planned to do the same thing because reality is, you always want more than you can have.

Invite your 120, and if you get No responses right away send out a few more invites right away. I know people frown upon this but if you do it right, it’s not a big deal.

We mailed put 188, wanting 125 (could’ve afforded and accommodated all 188) and 127 are coming, but that is a winter right after Christmas wedding where a huge chunk of our list is out of state. I would not invite more than you can accommodate, and if you get NO answers quickly just immediately send out the next invite. Do not however, wait until the last second when it is an obvious B list unless you feel comfortable calling that person and saying hey we have some seats open, join us.

View Quoted Comment Thank you for saying that. It was also super helpful.

I’m thinking you would not have 120 save the dates for 120 guests? You only do one per couple or family