Seating Chart or No Seating Chart

I think you should do a seating chart. Otherwise you'll have unevenly filled tables, similar to a cafeteria at a high school.

I agree with jacks. I know it’s hard when parents don’t get along. My father does not like my mother or stepfather and doesn’t like being near them. We only had a wedding of 48 people. My mom doesn’t have family so we put my parents on one side at a table with family friends and my dad on the other side of the room with his side of the family. Then my husband’s parents sat with their family

Even if there weren’t issues, I would still 100% suggest a seating chart. It is so much easier in the end – for both you and your guests.

IMO you need escort cards or a seating chart, at least to assign guests to a table. Otherwise, it’s a free for all. People can end up saving seats or being left with no where to sit.


I’ve been to weddings where actual seats were assigned and that works well too.

This is a situation where you either be the first in your social circle to have an escort card table (worlds cheaper for you and easier on everyone involved than an expensive chart that is difficult to read and guests forget their assignments) and seat everyone on opposing sides of the room or don’t invite the guests who don’t get along.


Outside of a dessert reception or a heavy appetizers Oscars after party, open seating doesn’t work because people who come in together don’t get to stay together and get mixed in with people they don’t like. Grandma saves a table and doesn’t give it up, while another group puts 20 chairs around a table for 6.

View Quoted Comment Thank you for your advice. I have to say this has been the most stressful part of wedding planning so far. We only told the venue we needed five tables as each table seats 8 to 10 people. Right now we only have about 40 people on the guest list and no matter how I try to arrange the tables there's still one table with only two people and then my mom's side with only four people. I just feel like it's going to look uneven, but if that keeps peace then I guess that's okay.

I would not be afraid to mix the two sides at some tables. Look for people with compatible interests or of a similar age group. Weddings are also parties that are meant for socializing and people should be capable of making conversation for a few hours or less.

I agree with everyone else. I will also add that I wouldn’t worry too much about the specific seating chart until much closer to your wedding, when all of your RSVPs are in. Otherwise, you’ll have done all this work only to move people around once you get some declines. And as far as the people not wanting to even see each other, that’s unavoidable. They need to grow up and be civil or decline to attend the event. With a 50 person event, you’re going to see everyone. You just don’t have to interact with them, so these folks need to suck it up.

A responsible host will make a seating plan for their guests. Don't be shy in asserting your role because your guests are actually expecting that from you. Otherwise guests will take over and make known their anxieties (already happening). I advise making escort cards with table numbers, once you get your RSVP's and group guests by circle, age, and interests rather than title.

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I totally get it. I think most of your pics from the reception will come after dinner and dances where people are up and down anyway so there's never an even amount of people sitting down at one table most of the time. Generally, photographers eat while everyone else eats and during your dances, they'll be focused on taking pics of you and your guests will just be in the background. I personally also pick peace over aesthetics. Some people will say "they have to suck it up" and unless you've lived it, you know that while you wish that were the case, it isn't always what happens. Unfortunately, they will have to be in the same room. The best you can do is set them on opposite sides and hope they will behave. I know it's stressful. As someone else mentioned, I wouldn't worry too much until you have all your RSVPs.

Yes i need a seating chart