Seating Chart Chaos

I'm waiting to do my seating chart until I receive RSVPs. So about 2 weeks before the wedding.

I wouldn't stress about it too much until you get RSVPs back. Folks may not be able to attend and it will change your carefully crafted plan. For now, make a list of your guests and start grouping them into buckets: my family, FS family, my school friends, FS school friends, mutual friends, etc. Then if any of your groups are larger than your table size, start putting them into smaller groups, like FS family group A, B and C. You can then make counts of each group and subgroup and figure out how things work out after the RSVPS come in.

My advice is to put it aside and not think about it until significantly closer to the wedding. So much can change in two years and you can't really finalize a seating chart until after rsvps come in anyway.

Oh my goodness, so much can change in 2 years: people you will invite, people’s relationships & significant others, deaths, births... I wouldn’t bother even thinking about seating chart until couple months before the wedding at the earliest, when you actually know who is invited & who is coming. I wasn’t even engaged 2 years before our wedding 😆

I have a tentative seating chart (in the case that everyone attends) and then I will alter it after the RSVP deadline. I would not recommend a kids table as it usually become chaotic. Whether you sit with your WP or alone is up to the two of you and if you feel strongly about having alone time during the wedding.

An an example of one of my tables: Aunt, Uncle, Cousin, Cousins wife, cousin’s 4 kids. Try to sit people with others that they are closest to.

I didn't even start considering seating until I got back RSVP's. I think you're setting yourself up for failure if you try to sort this out before you know for sure who's coming and who is not.

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That seems to be the general consensus, thank you!

Yes, I agree with the others here. Once you are closer, and you have a better idea of who will be able to come to your wedding, it will be easier to group them into tables.

For us and the bridal party, we are doing a sweetheart table (just FH and me), and then I'm seating my bridal party with their families and significant others. Example: my sister (MOH), her husband, their two kids, my cousin (BM), her husband and their two kids are all one table. I'm trying to seat people who know each other together. Like, I'm having a few coworkers, and they will all be assigned the same table, as they are unlikely to know anyone else but me.

I agree with everything everyone else has said! I'd like to add a couple things too:

1. Do you have a venue picked out and booked? If so, you'll want to ask what tables they offer (round / rectangular / square) as different shapes accommodate different amounts of people. For example, we're using round tables at our reception and they can seat 8 people comfortably!

2. I wouldn't do a kids table. It'd turn into a circus with little kids running around I feel like haha. If you're looking to be more kid friendly, maybe consider doing coloring pages for little kids that they can take to their tables to keep them occupied?

3. Depends on how traditional you want to go as far as sitting alone / with friends. Traditionally, bride and groom sit with their wedding party. However, a lot of people now do a sweetheart table which is a small table that just you two sit at! I can't see why you wouldn't be able to sit with friends if you want to do that!

Girl that is one stress that you should wait to tackle. So much can change like others have said.

We are having a sweetheart table. We have one table for each of our immediate families, one that's a mix of friends from both of our lists, one of his friends, and the rest are other family tables.
The wedding party is scattered based on friendships and stuff.

I would wait to see who RSVP yes before you do seating charts. If you do not know who is coming or not.

It's gonna be hard to do an accurate seating chart without having RSVPs back, to know who actually needs a seat and who doesn't. It would suck for you to do all this work and stressing now and then have to redo the whole thing later based on the RSVPs! I agree with everyone else, put it aside until a whole lot closer to your wedding date!

Personally, I think seating charts are a waste of time. No matter how much thought goes into them, someone is not going to like it. I think it's best to just let the guests mingle and sit beside whomever they like.

View Quoted Comment Them you run the chance of families getting split up. If a family of 5 comes in and there is no table with 5 chairs the family will have to separate. I would be a bit annoyed if I did not get to sit at a wedding reception with my husband.

Some things you can figure out now like if you want a sweet heart or a full wedding party table and how many tables you want/can fit In your venue. But other than that it is wayyyy too early to start thinking about where each person will sit. I agree with others about how much can change in 2 years. I have been engaged for almost 2 years and the amount of people I either added or deleted from my guest list could equal another whole guest list! So definitely wait to do that till much closer to your actual wedding date.

Our venue is a giant beer hall with long tables so we are letting people sit wherever they'd like, since people will get up and move to where they want to be anyhow. Also, a kids table is a fantastic idea. You can put a paper runner down the middle with crayons and maybe put out a few games, puzzles and craft supplies from the dollar store. Plus, you can give kids their own favors like bubbles & fruit snacks, etc.

In 2 years you could have new friends new family relationships change.
We arent starting our seating chart until 4 weeks before the wedding
Invitations shouldn't really go out earlier than 12 weeks so it's hard to make a seating chart If you dont know who is going

Don’t worry about your seating chart until you at least get some RSVPs back. I started ours about a month after sending invitations because we received back a bunch of RSVPs then and had something to work with. But even since then, after receiving the rest of our RSVPs, so much has changed. If you start now you’re going to be creating so much extra work for yourself (you’ll end up having to rearrange anyway based on who does/doesn’t come) so I’d advise against it.

I know starting on stuff like that is exciting haha, but there’s soo much you can get started on 2 years in advance (signage, bridal party gifts, a gift/letter for your FH, dress shopping, picking out rehearsal dinner outfit, honeymoon shopping/planning, making LISTS of everything you’ll have to do, making signs, etc.) I would save this one for closer to the wedding date.

In terms of where you should sit... we’re sitting at a sweetheart table (just me and FH) because we couldn’t decide who to sit with and didn’t want to offend anyone lol. Plus it’ll be nice to have a few minutes just the two of us. We aren’t having a designated “bridal party” table either, we are just seating them among the other guests based on who else they know at the wedding.

View Quoted Comment Oh my gosh. This is the best thing I could have read. I'm starting to stress about this too. Your advice makes it seem much more manageable.

I started by making lists. My family - his family - close friends. Coworkers. I put them into sections on a spreadsheet and then started to plug them into tables that way. You're a ways out so you have time to really think it through. When it came to the tables for my friends I started to subgroup by personality so that i could put "like" people together. The quiet ones - the loud ones - introverts/extroverts. The single ones LOL....