Seating assignment

You have total discretion when it comes to who you seat and where, though generally it is considerate to accommodate reasonable seating requests from guests should they make any - for example, a dear friend of mine is not comfortable sitting near ex-friends of hers so I will be more than happy to ensure she is seated away from them.

Is your FSIL's partner seated with her or does she want him seated away from her?

View Quoted Comment She is at the head table and he is at the table with all the other significant others of the head table.

The bride and groom choose what the assignments on the escort cards are. If someone doesn’t like it, they only have to sit there during dinner.

View Quoted Comment

I see.

If it's not an unreasonable request and you're able to change your seating plan, I don't see any harm in accommodating the request, though if you've already ordered your seating chart and other things, I would simply tell FSIL that you've already finalised the seating chart but that you are confident her partner will be happy where he has been seated.

View Quoted Comment Exactly what we said. But his parents got mad that we told his sister it is our choice not yours.

View Quoted Comment That’s on them for enabling bad behavior

It's maybe an hour of his life he has to sit with people who he may not know, suck it up and deal with it. Once dinner is over the seating assignments means nothing! Just to drive your point home, you could say you will move her to his table and move someone from that table to the head table, I'm sure that will go over like a ton of bricks!

Stand your ground, def not high on the list of things that need to be "fixed"

View Quoted Comment Totally agree.

10000% your choice!! It’s your wedding and if that’s the way you want the seating to be set up they can just deal with it! They’ll get over it. If it’s really THAT big of a deal on the day of, maybe someone will be willing to swap seats to sit next to their SO? Either way do not change what you have already put so much thought into. The day is about YOU and your new HUBBY and that’s what matters!

This is why I feel bridal parties should sit with their SOs, even if it means the bridesmaids can't all sit together. Of course it will be awkward for him not knowing anybody at the table. However, since you've already finalized the seating, I would stand your ground. This is a very common way to do seating when the bridal party have dates. Thousands of people have sucked it up at other weddings in the past, they can do it too. And no one's parents should be factoring into this, presumably this bridesmaid and her SO are adults who can deal with this themselves.

Ehhh I see both sides to this. It’s the couples’ decision where to seat their guests but it is also the couples’ duty to make their guests as comfortable as they can. Also as a guest if you find out the situation is one that really stinks for you, there isn’t harm in *asking* (as long as it’s not demanding), particularly if they don’t know your seating chart is done already. There were a couple of occasions where I asked for some advice when making mine! It is pretty early to have seating set in stone. I had some last minute guest list changes and had to shift some tables around even the week before the wedding.
So, I think it is worth considering the request, giving some thought to how/ if it would work. I’ve been SO to a member of the wedding party on plenty of occasions where I didn’t know the others wedding party SOs well or at all, and honestly it would’ve been super awkward to share a meal with those strangers , especially if and when I had other family members and friends there that I knew well. So, while of course you can’t indulge every guest, and some things might just have to be because that’s the way they work best, I do think it is worth at least considering the request. Especially during a pandemic era, I think a little extra weight should be given to where a guest is most comfortable sitting. Also as a wedding party SO, not getting to sit with your partner is already a drag, so I would try to consider the next best thing. But is it required ? No, Of course not.

Would it kill you to to accommodate her? Is it that important?

More important to be a good hostess - which is what you are for this event.

Change it if you can and every one has a good time.

Every hostess I have ever known has had to change some seats in the last week, due to RSVP changes. If you can do it, why not? Yes, you have the authority to seat her with Bozo , if you want. But one of the usual precepts of being a wedding host is that if you separate wedding party from their SO, a not popular move, you make an effort to seat the person with those they know, not with a group of strays, unless they know no one. What will it cost to be nice?

I personally think it’s your choice in the end, especially considering you’ve already laid out the seating chart and it would be tedious to change around at this point. I don’t see how sitting at the head table with her would be a problem if they’re a couple, he can always walk around and mingle to another table throughout the night

I'm sorry all of this drama is happening to you! We are not having a bridal party (besides MOH and Bestman), no seating charts, etc. We're also only inviting 25 people and want it to be a celebration of our love and marriage with family and close friends. Tell anyone who tries to criticize the planning of YOUR wedding to politely beat feet and have a nice day.

I agree that its up to the bride and groom to choose where people sit.

I also generally dislike head tables for this reason - splitting up SO's is always a bit awkward, and most of your wedding party probably doesn't want to be "on display" when they are eating anyway.

You don't have to make changes, but I don't think wanting to sit with your SO is an unreasonable request. My husband was the best man in a wedding and I remember feeling so grateful that the wedding didn't have a head table and he was able to sit with me throughout dinner and the rest of the reception.

It's up to the bride and groom where to seat people, but it's also basic courtesy not to split up couples...this is one of the main reasons why head tables are a bad idea if you have bridal party members with SOs who are not in the wedding party. I would personally try to accommodate their request, but if you can't it's not the end of the world.

As a bride dealing with crap like this, I told them they will sit where I seated them. If they don't like it they don't have to come.