Seating and family blending

Make a seating chart then.

I think this really depends on your crowd. I don't think there is anything wrong with mixing cousins with cousins, your friends with his friends, etc so long as there is a reason for it and they all have something in common. We haven't done our seating chart yet, but I hope people will see it as an opportunity to blend our families together and get to know both sides.

If my FH wanted to this I would make sure everyone still had someone comfortable to sit with. That might mean for a table seating 10, 5 of his side and 5 of my side. Depending on how groups worked out I wouldn't have to split table down the middle. This way in case they don't click they still have someone to talk too. If it gets awkward, they will have more of a reason to get on the dance floor.

I went to a wedding once. The table consisted of my family and another family. We both had traveled 2 hours to get there. We didn't know each other and didn't click. I ended up talking to my sisters the entire night.

I did a seating chart and made sure that everyone (every couple) sat at a table with someone else that knew them. But I sat like groups together. It's only for dinner! People get up and move around to groups they're more comfortable with after dinner is over.

Honestly I think if either family is spread out at all you may want to keep the families together. Both DH and I have family that live out of state (as well as divorced parents) so my father and his sister and her adult children were at a table, FIL and his wife with his brothers and their mother at a table, my mom with her siblings at a table and MIL with her family at a table. I was in a wedding and the bride had only the MOH (my sister), myself and the 2 other bridesmaids at a table (it was an 8 person table and she could have had the groomsmen at the table as well or my DH and my nephew at the table with us). My sister and I spent a lot of time at the table where my DH and my nephew were. When we were at "our" table, I talked to my sister and the other bridesmaids talked to one another (they were sisters).

I'm seating people by if I think that they would get along well/would really like each other. But then again, my family doesn't clique, they then to talk to whoever is closest lol!

I would say, maybe a little of both? compromise is usually a good alternative

Eh I'm never a fan of forced mingling. I'm planning on sitting people with people they know (so there will be a few tables for my cousins, a few tables for FH's cousins, so on) or, if they don't know a lot of people, grouping together people who I know will get along. I'm not going to sit any of my friends with my crazy aunt, for example.

Honestly, what's the purpose of forcing people to sit with others who they don't know, if they DO know other people there?

^^That was a little more like what was in my brain, thanks Lori! lol. Yes if you have people that they can sit with that they know... that's the best. but I had a few situations (in my pre-seating-chart-seating-chart... lots of family drama to anticipate lol) But sometimes families would only fill yp half a table and had other people they know be in family groupings too large to fill up the table... hence friend matchmaking mode...

Okay I agree with most of you! I was planning on combining one or two families from each side at each table. I do have tables that sit ten people so that is completely possible. Thanks for your input!

I'm not doing a seating chart. I'm going to let people seat where they want. The only reserved tables will be me and FH family table and parent tables. I will have more seats then I will have guest so this will work for me, but if you 1 for 1 I wouldn't advise it.

Oh yea I'm 1 for 1 and I have a feeling randoms will try to show up so I have to do assigned seating plus we are having our ceremony and reception in the same ballroom so the guests will be sitting in the same seat from start to finish. Because of this I might seat the guests by "importance" from front to back and just mix it all up. Ugh so confusing I know!!!

If you 1 for 1 then you definitely have to make a chart. 99% of my guest are coming from NYC so the chances of them seeing my FH family again is slim to none so I don't care if they blend with each other at the wedding.

Honestly, I hate having to be mixed with people

I don't know at weddings. I want to be seated with people I know and don't get to see all the time. I don't want to be forced into talking to people I don't want to/might not get along with.

Yes I agree! I wouldn't want to be sat at a table with people I don't know either. Our families are pretty friendly so I'm sure they will mingle in their own. I think I'll stick to putting people together with who they know. Thanks yall!!

I've always seen one family on one side of the dance floor, the other family on the other side of the dance floor. Families like weddings, in part, because it gives them a chance to catch up with relatives they haven't seen since the last family function. If you watch people during a cocktail hour, you'll see the divide. If you have a few family members at war (very common, btw), you just put a table or two between them. That works fine.

It's really not important that the two families become close or even friendly. Chances are they will be polite to each other and make some wedding related small talk, and then go back to where they are comfortable -- with their relatives. If you're serving alcohol, they might get really friendly, but I doubt any long lasting attachments will be made at a wedding. There will probably be very few events that will draw them all together again after the wedding (and most of them will be centered around the children you and FH will have -- baby showers, birthday parties -- that kind of thing).

We are going to have a sign posted that reads: "Come as you are, stay as long as you can, we are all family, so no seating plan." We are also going to make it know that rather than clank on glasses to make us kiss they will have to answer a trivia question about the bride and groom. Our hopes are that they will discuss this between the members at the table in order to come up with an answer. Best of luck!