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Mary, on June 11, 2019 at 6:54 PM Posted in Planning 0 14

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So I recently lost my father to ALS(Lou Gerhig's disease). It has been hard. I have a couple of ideas to remember him by.

One thing I am doing is I found out what color ribbon represents ALS so I'm having my florist put one red rose in the center of my bouquet for when I walk down the aisle.

2. I'm having my fiances aunt who is doing the cupcakes instead of a cake do my dads favorite candy as one.

My thought for the fayher daighter dance since i dont get the opportunity to have it is to do a slidewhos of photo's of him and I and some family photos with a song. I have talked to several family members and they think its a wonderful idea. What does everyone else think? I know I could have my mom do it, but the things is it would have been a very special moment for my father and I.

The only things I'm not sure about is what song do use with the slideshow. What would anyone else do. Open to suggestions.

Please help

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14 Comments

Latest activity by Mary, on June 13, 2019 at 1:33 AM

Savvy June 2021
Kayla · on June 11, 2019 at 8:04 PM
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I am so sorry for your loss❤️ I think this sounds perfect
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Super October 2019
Andrea · on June 11, 2019 at 10:54 PM
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I think this is perfect. What a wonderful way to remember him. I’m so sorry that you lost him. I’ve always loved “What a Wonderful World” by Louis Armstrong and “In my Life” by the Beatles.
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Beginner May 2020
Mary · on June 11, 2019 at 11:15 PM
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I never thought of what a wonderful world. I love that song. I'll have to listen to the Beatles one. Thanks
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Master June 2020
Anna · on June 11, 2019 at 11:18 PM
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This is a great idea
What about " I loved her first"?
So sweet❤
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Beginner May 2020
Mary · on June 11, 2019 at 11:21 PM
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I thought about that one. Then I just had a thought what if I did a mash up of several songs
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Dedicated August 2019
Kelsey · on June 11, 2019 at 11:25 PM
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I think what you have is perfect. I lost my uncle to ALS 8 years ago but I can't imagine losing my dad to it. Sending love and peace to you during this time. One idea may be to leave a seat in the front row during the ceremony open in his honor and put a picture of him & some other memorabilia of his on the seat.
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VIP September 2019
latasha · on June 11, 2019 at 11:28 PM
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I don’t have a song suggestion but I just wanted to send you my sympathies. I too recently lost my father and the thought of him not being there for my day is soooo painful. I think the ideas you have a re wonderful and will be so special. You are stronger than I because the picture thing would have me sobbing like a blubbering mess lol. I’ve chosen to use his favorite color as one of my wedding colors and have a small locket with his picture in it to attach to my bouquet. I feel like those are subtle ways to remember him anything huge I’m tooooo emotional for right now. I wish you all the best and my thoughts are with you. Lifting you up in my prayers!!
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Beginner May 2020
Mary · on June 11, 2019 at 11:37 PM
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I was going to do that for him but then when I had the thought of the red rose in the cemter of my bouquet I scratched the idea of a seat for him. That way he is still somewhat close to me
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Beginner May 2020
Mary · on June 11, 2019 at 11:51 PM
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Ohh you can bet I will be a blubbering mess. I still have random melt downs and the more I think about my wedding the sadder I get.
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Master June 2020
Anna · on June 12, 2019 at 12:07 AM
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That would be fantastic! Hugs to you ❤
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Devoted September 2021
Jessie · on June 12, 2019 at 12:20 AM
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My dad's best friend has always been around for me even before Dad passed. Best friend is walking me down the aisle and doing the father daughter dance with me to Just Fishin by Trace Adkins.
For your slide show, maybe One More Day by Diamond Rio would work.
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Expert May 2018
dancingwiththekumars · on June 12, 2019 at 1:59 AM
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I’m so sorry you lost your Dad, mine passed away also. We lost our grandpa to ALS.

We had a “Wish You Were Here” table with my Dad’s photo as the largest, lantern, and other photos of departed loved ones. At the reception we started off with one of his fav songs. We didn’t do any of those mother/son or father/daughter things. I cry at other people’s weddings when I see it, so we opted out.

Your ideas sound beautiful!
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Expert October 2020
Haley · on June 12, 2019 at 11:03 AM
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I am so sorry for your loss. My FMIL passed away in Feb from ALS. I think it's a wonderful idea to still have a father/daughter song. My fh stepdad has bought me a necklace to wear on my wedding day that is a dragonfly, FMIL LOOOOVED dragonflies. I'm not sure what else we will do in tribute to her, but possibly play a song she loved during the reception and ask everyone who knew and loved her to get up and dance.
We also lost my future brother in law to suicide when we were 15 (I've been with FH for 10 years, knew his brother well, he passed when we first started dating), so we will definitely play a song he liked and ask everyone to dance in tribute to him as well. But there is 1 song that we played right after he died (Settle For A Slowdown by Dierks Bentley) and that will go on the DO NOT PLAY list because everyone we know will just start crying and it won't be pretty.
We decided to do a grandparent dance instead of a mother/son, father/daughter dance. (My dad passed when I was 8).
I'd just make sure to keep the slideshow kind of short and remember that it's a day to celebrate your marriage and fondly remember your dad, without making it a long tribute to his fight with ALS and make it a very sad part of your day. I don't at all mean that to sound harsh, but if other guests didn't know him or it will make you incredibly sad, a long slideshow might not be the most positive way to show his presence that day. (That sounds terrible when I type it out but I hope you get what I'm trying to say!)
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Beginner May 2020
Mary · on June 13, 2019 at 1:33 AM
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Thank you everyone who has given ideas and/or sent sympathy messages. It's been hard the last couple of months, but we are getting through it as a family.

What I didnt share is we then lost my grandfather( mothers father) two weeks later. So my mom lost her husband and father in the same month.

We are doing plaques and memorable for both my mom's parents and one for my fiance's grandfather that he lost several years ago.

I am going to do a mashup of songs instead of just one for the slideshow as my father daught dance. Will most likely do the songs all of you have suggested.

Again thank you for your kind words and sugestions.
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