Scheduling Sex In a Relationship/ Marriage

Aha I don't know why when I hear about scheduling sex it makes me think literally "I'll see you on Tuesday at 8pm in our bedroom for a 30 minute sex session" ahah

I think people should do whatever they are comfortable with and what works for them. There are no rules when it comes to sex. Scheduled sex may be great for some couples while others are more into spontaneity. Play around and have fun!

Spontaneous is better. It almost seems like a chore scheduling it.. and there’s no spontaneity in it.

Personally, I think it’s best when it happens naturally. I guess scheduling doesn’t have to mean day and time, that’s a little silly, but that’s what I think of when I think see the word “schedule.” We do schedule time to spend together- like date nights because it’s essential or we’d never have one.

I personally don't like scheduled sex it ends up turning me off. I get all anxious and feel like I have to preform no matter what.

I feel like we need to schedule sex time because we are both so busy.

I think spontaneous is the best, but like texts earlier in the day leading up to it can be nice and exciting but that's about as close as we get to scheduling it.

I wouldn’t say we really schedule sex, usually we aim for once or twice a week on days off of work but when and what time is always a mystery until one of us or Both of us makes a move, but to have a day and time would be weird. I don’t know if I could say see ya on Tuesday at 8pm and then actually follow through with excitement which seems would cause more issues in a relationship...? Always fighting about someone rescheduling their sex date!!

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It could definitely be like that.

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Thanks for sharing.

I think this depends on your life. Right now, FH works 60+ hour work weeks because it’s busy season and is putting in even more time some nights because he’s aiming for a promotion. We have a child, plus I help care for my grandparents several days a week. If we didn’t make it a priority to at least talk about it being on the schedule for the week, it wouldn’t happen because we’re both busy and exhausted. Spontaneous is obviously better, but scheduled is better than not at all. We never actually say “Tuesday and Thursday this week” but we make sure to set a priority like “this week we’re aiming for at least 3 nights” so that we’re always aware that it’s important to us.

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I can understand why scheduling sex would make it seem like a chore. But, do you think that scheduling sex could also help to build anticipation?

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When I said schedule I did mean a date and time.

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I can totally understand the anxiety scheduling sex might cause. That is a great point, thank you for bringing that up.

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I can understand couples who have hectic work schedules being so busy and tired that they forget about their partner's needs. Scheduling sex could definitely be helpful for couples in that situation.

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Yeah, that could build anticipation and make it more exciting.

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You bring up a good point about follow-through. I guess scheduled sex would only work for two partners who are really into that and committed to the process. I could see constant rescheduling becoming a problem.

View Quoted Comment I mean everyone is different so things work different for everyone but I feel like if you’re scheduling sex it should be for a good reason like traveling for work or health issues and what not but even then it can be tricky. IMO without that solid reason it seems as if being inmate was a problem in the first place and treating it like a doctors appointment isn’t always helpful. I suffer from several health issues, two which effect my ability to carry out a everyday life ( I’m on disability at 29) and that was once a suggestion to us because of my pain and fatigue, I often have trouble with my sex drive and it really made things more complicated and weird. Now we work it where on our days off which is about 1/2 a week that we have a whole day together... when one of us is the mood we will let the other know and at some point we will usually end up having sex and it seems to be helpful but everyone is different so I’m know there’s many cons in for some people

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Thank you for sharing that.