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Scared to go to friend's wedding

Isle, on July 9, 2021 at 7:58 PM Posted in Wedding Attire 0 6
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My friend's wedding is next month. We met in high school and have been friends for a long time. However, the last time she saw me I was 175lbs. I am now 217lbs. I was diagnosed with PCOS, depression, anxiety, and ADHD recently. COVID made matters worse for me so I gained ALOT of weight. I started going to therapy and losing weight has been a big challenge.

I am ashamed of how I look, and I am scared of what her family, fiance, family, and friends will say. My friend is picking me up from the airport and she also saw me at 175 lbs last time I saw her. I am scared to get judged by people. Her fiance (he's very judgy), and her sisters and mom (also very judgy), I don't know what to do. Every time I lose weight or gain weight, they'll make comments about it. I haven't seen them in 2 yrs so the thought of getting bullied is scary to me.

As a maid of honor, I've already planned her bachelorette party and will be flying from out of state for the wedding. My friends don't know about my weight gain since I hide it on social media. Seriously thinking about making up an excuse just so I don't deal with the bullying Smiley sad


Thoughts?

6 Comments

Latest activity by Jade, on July 11, 2021 at 11:17 AM
  • Jennifer
    Dedicated August 2021
    Jennifer ·
    • Flag
    I’m so sorry you’re going through all of this. Does your friend ever stick up for you, or tell her family and fiancé to stop making those comments? If not, I wouldn’t go - but I wouldn’t make up an excuse either. I know it’s hard to confront these type of people, but you should tell her exactly why you won’t be attending.


    As for the bachelorette party, not to sound like a cliche, but your real friends will support you in your health struggles, and not judge you.
    Good luck with everything 🙂
    • Reply
  • G
    Savvy April 2022
    Gc ·
    • Flag
    I’m so sorry that you are feeling this way and feel ashamed of yourself. If your friend is truly your friend and cares about you, she won’t care about what you look like and she will support you no matter what! Your friend should also be sticking up for you to her fiancé and family. I know it can be difficult to be confident and stick up for yourself, but I think that if anyone says anything to you, you should simply say “I don’t appreciate comments about my weight or physical appearance” And redirect the conversation away from your body. Similarly, I think it’s perfectly reasonable to say to your friend that you don’t appreciate when her family does this. Overall, I hope you won’t need any of this and that no one says a thing to you! You’re way more than a physical body and you should be comfortable in your own skin in an environment with friends. It is so rude of anyone to make any kind of comment about someone else’s body. Best of luck to you.
    • Reply
  • Jenny
    Savvy April 2022
    Jenny ·
    • Flag
    Aww this makes me so sad. You are beautiful no matter your size and a true friend wouldn’t judge you for physical appearance. Sending love but I think it will all work out ok
    • Reply
  • Michelle
    Rockstar October 2022
    Michelle ·
    • Flag
    So sorry you are dealing with that. If your friend truly loves you she will not judge you. But be open and honest with her about your insecurities. Don’t make an excuse to not attend.
    • Reply
  • Grace
    Super February 2022
    Grace ·
    • Flag
    Maybe consider phoning the bride beforehand and talking to her one-on-one? Let her know it is something you are self-concious about and that you would ask for her support if others start talking about your weight around her.



    I am so sorry you are dealing with this. I also have severe anxiety so I truly do understand how crippling it can feel at times. You are stronger than you think and when you need help your true friends will be there to support you. Don't let the fear control you and stop you from living life how you want to.
    • Reply
  • Jade
    Devoted August 2021
    Jade ·
    • Flag
    I am so sorry you’re feeling this way, beautiful soul. I can understand how difficult this must be for you. But here is what I would suggest:


    Be honest with your friend about this situation! You’re her MOH after all... so I’m sure if she’s a real friend she will be understanding toward your feelings surrounding this. This way she can hopefully reassure you that everything will be okay & you have nothing to worry about!
    Also, remember this: your feelings are 100% valid + important & you are so gorgeous regardless of how much you weigh ❤️
    Sending you a ton of love!
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