Scared and Lonely - Not Ready

Hit pause on the engagement and work on your issues with your therapist. If you aren't ready to get married, you aren't ready to get married. Even if it upsets him, he should be understanding of the issues and give you the time you need. Marriage is not something you should just rush into if you don't feel ready for it.

I agree with Hannah. I would put wedding planning on hold for now, and work with your therapist on the issues. You can have as long of an engagement as you need, there's no time limit on when you "have" to get married. Take things at whatever pace you need, and resolve the issues before entering a marriage.

Fully agree, put wedding planning on hold and focus on therapy. If you feel your inability to trust your FH is causing fighting/issues in your relationship, then I highly recommend couples therapy in conjunction with your individual therapy. I am really sorry you are dealing with this and hope you get to a much better place over time - definitely no need to rush it.

No need to rush marriage. I think baby steps are
a good move. Move out of the parents’ house. Move in with fiancé (maybe directly, maybe not, maybe take some time on your own first). If it’s long distance, someone’s gonna be making a big move eventually, so maybe try living in the same place alone/separately for a little bit. Gaining some independence will go along way. Sounds like the infidelity may be hitting so hard because of the disinterest in growing up, how intertwined you still are in your parents’ lives. I get it. I don’t really much want to grow up 🤣 but I’ve been independent for a while, and I think it helped me find my way into a successful marriage. But it didn’t happen overnight. And if it’s a loving, supportive relationship, you should be able to get the time and space you need to sort yourself out. There should never be pressure to just hurry up and do that — that’s not the foundation of a healthy relationship. Keep on keeping on with the therapy, but definitely take steps toward independence. But, take as much time as you need, regardless of the people around you.

Thank you so much. I was having trouble with my account. I'm just afraid to abandon my mom.