Save the dates/invites

January is way too early to ask people to RSVP, even for a destination wedding. You usually send out invites around 8 weeks before the wedding, but for a DW, you can look at about 2-3 months out (so earliest in May).

Your save-the-dates can go out much earlier, like 6-8 months ahead of time. You can include the location on the save-the-dates so that everyone knows it's a destination wedding and to mentally factor it in to coming schedules. However, people's schedules change and asking them to commit that early is likely going to give you a dishonest headcount.

I would send save the dates in like August 2020. Send invitations April 2021 (3 months before) or maybe March 2021 at the very earliest. Have people RSVP by May (like 60 days before the wedding). People are just not going to be able to commit 6 months in advance! I don’t even usually plan my vacations more than a couple months in advance

View Quoted Comment The only reason I’m trying to have a yes or no 6 months in advance is because we are booking an Airbnb for everyone and I want to be able to get a good one for them and have it paid for well in advance so I don’t have to worry about it. But I know exactly what you mean I normally am also super last minute about planning my vacations 😂

I definitely agree that January is far too early to have RSVPs due. Since it’s destination, you would be fine sending STDs 10-11 months ahead. As far as RSVPs go, send them out 3 months ahead of your wedding and ask for them back a week before your final numbers are due.

View Quoted Comment My biggest issue is making sure everyone will be able to sleep comfortably in the Airbnb I book or knowing if the people are going to book their own hotel/Airbnb. And that I get it booked and paid for well in advance

View Quoted Comment The problem with 6 months in advance is that people may give you a false RSVP yes just because it’s due and then may not end up being able to come. At that point, you’d be out of money that you spent for them. Can you just do an AirBNB for your VIPs who you know will be there (immediate family, wedding party)? I know I’d actually prefer, as a guest, to book my own accommodations. I think your offer to get them accommodations is very sweet of you, but I’d either limit it to the people you KNOW will be there, or wait until closer to your date to book.

I agree that unless your guest list is very small and all extremely close family and friends, I don't think you will have much success with an RSVP date 6-months in advance. Maybe when you send out the STD, you can invite people to contact you by a date in January if they are interested in shared accommodations, but I think you're just setting yourself up for frustration to set an RSVP date then. A lot of people won't know, so they'll either ignore your request or give you an answer and potentially change their response when the date gets closer and their availability/finances/etc. are more certain. Good luck!

View Quoted Comment Yeah my guest list is very small. My fiancé and I are getting our own place to stay so we really are just booking for our close friends and family. I definitely can see where I would get frustrated with false yes’s

Ill say Jan 2021. Offical invites can April or May 2021.

Ours is a destination wedding also. We sent our save the dates out about a year out. That way it gives people plenty of time to do whatever they need with work or hotels and traveling if they are coming. Then our invitations we sent out at about 2-3 months out.

View Quoted Comment I completely agree with all of this.