Save the Dates

We had some people reach out and said things like “we’ll be there!” after we sent ours but I took it with a grain of salt. Ours even said “formal invitation to follow”, plus we’ll send out invites anyway and require an RSVP then. I wouldn’t worry about it too much, people just get excited!

It’s probably just guests confirming that they received it. They can’t rsvp a save the date so it’s just their way of saying they will be attending and that it came.

View Quoted Comment Thank you for the reply! With everything going on, I felt terrible about even sending them out! I just wanted everyone to receive a “heads up” regarding the date. It doesn’t provide a lot of detail on it, just the “Save the Date” our names, and the city / state. We had them printed and sent them out late!

View Quoted Comment I know that some of the older generation in my family might mistake them for an invitation! I was on the fence about even sending STDs, but I’m actually relieved that they were finally sent out, even if we have to adjust the date (I’m crossing my fingers that we get to keep our original date) but understand if some people feel uncomfortable attending! It’s a very scary time!

Save the dates are a recent invention, and even though in use about 15 years, more people don't use them than do. So some guest don't know what they are. For other people reading this, it always good , somewhere on a save the date, to have printed or write, formal invitation will be mailed to you in MONTH YEAR. You will have to just answer calls and questions. The traditional way to give advance notice, if required only ( not everyone) has for most been in person, by phone, or a letter ( snail or email.) And the first card, always the invitation. Saves still a surprise to lots of people.

View Quoted Comment Thank you for your reply ... We just didn’t want to have to start “tracking” people this far out, as far as who is attending, etc. especially with the pandemic, people may be more prone to changing their minds as time progresses! We had a lot of friends and family out of state, so we just wanted to give them a “head up” so they could plan!

It is actually nice is more usual times, when someone who absolutely cannot possibly come, let's you know after the Save, so knowing they won't come, you may put someone back on the list, or feel comfortable giving someone a plus one, come actual invitation time. But now things are so crazy, no one is committing to much or noticing conflicts with all the postponements. So tracking people early is a waste of time. If you get a call, just say that you wanted them to know you were inviting g them, but don't need any answer til the RSVP card with the invitation in September ( or whenever ) . Everything must be so frustrating this year.

Surprisingly I had that issue!!! We are due to get married October 30th 2020 and I went my save the dates out in March because we had a few out of state people and that weekend is somewhat a holiday weekend for most so I wanted to give peiple the 6/7 months of advanced knowledge and we put formal invitation to follow and our wedding website and a few people thought it was the invitation and blew up my phone asking how they respond on the website and like good god 🤦‍♀️ It’s just a thing!!!

View Quoted Comment Thank you for the reply! I just didn’t want to start tracking people this early, because of the pandemic & because, this far out, life happens! People get new jobs, go to college, etc. Good to know this is a regular occurrence!

View Quoted Comment We don’t choose the design yet, but we plan on sending out the invites with one of those little attachment cards that they can mail back to us! Basically, all of out planning has basically come to a halt. We still plan for October, but it’s just a scary time!

View Quoted Comment We are going to be doing the online RSVP option for some guests (using this website for my wedding website) I liked best how I can add more personal pages on here then the knot or Zola websites) and I completely hide that page from the website for now because even then the Virus wasn’t a huge thing yet here at all in the US so I didn’t wanna have to deal with people trying to respond already before like September the earliest and then I have hopes that some people would be kinda enough if they know they won’t be able to make it to tell me even before invites are sent out because I already at the time had a few people telling others they wouldn’t be able to come because of the most stupid reasons like thinking 200$ per person for a gift is what’s expected and what not down to people trying to find jobs and may not be able to take off if they switch jobs and now with the viruis thing if it can still happen this October I’m sure there’s more people who won’t be able to make it. I have one couple who’s pregnant and due in October so I highly doubt they will rsvp yes but I also don’t think they will tell me in advance they won’t make it and it’s rude to kinda ask people to tell you so you kinda just hope but yes totally except to get tons of questions early on. Even what the guests should wear and I’m like I don’t care lmao! But we did our best to address any questions people may have on the website and update as we go along so we had the basic stuff down and sadly people don’t exactly login sometimes until they are trying to find how to book a hotel room block or where and when and times or until they get a invite and are actually interested in the details of the wedding before the decide. I just keep reminding people check the website unless I send out a mass message to everyone!!!

Yes! I was so surprised! I am using a wedding website that I've already shared as well because it has our registry on it, and some people even already RSVPed. Good thing we only sent save the dates for those we were actually planning on inviting! 🤭 I'll still be sending out actual invitations of course, but I was truly surprised that people didn't know the purpose of the save the date!

Yeah, my extended family was all very confused. All of my family (except a few cousins and my brother and me) are immigrants, so they did not know what a save the date was. My parents didn't know what they were either, so I had to explain the purpose to them too lol.

I'm glad to know this happens to other people. We actually got a "no" RSVP and gift! And the people who sent them aren't even old!

I had this happen a lot. I received save the dates for every wedding I've attended, even local weddings, so I was baffled by all of the confusion. About 75-80% of our guests have to travel, so we thought we were doing a good thing, but it was such a nightmare! I had to explain to my parents a hundred times that these aren't invitations so they could pass it on to all the family who were contacting them.


How do I RSVP? Where is so-and-so's invite? (We did postcards and a couple got lost in the mail) My invite is dirty, can you resend it? Where is it being held? (It just had our names, date, city, and formal invite to follow.) And on and on. If I could go back in time, I'd save myself the headache and expense and only send them to a few people.
I had to emphasize that it's great that they want to attend (or can't attend), but I'm not keeping track just yet, so please wait until they recieve the formal invitation. The experience did let me know that electronic RSVPing will not work for my family, so I need to have stamped reply cards in my invitation suite!

View Quoted Comment The you for your reply ... This is exactly why we sent them out to everyone, even our in-state guests, just so there aren’t any people who felt left out! I’ll just have to roll with the punches. At this time, we have even bigger fish to fry, since there is a pandemic!

View Quoted Comment Too funny. With everything going on now, I wish it actually had more detail about hotels, etc. on it. It’s just our names, Save the Date, and the date!

View Quoted Comment Yeah, ours didn't even actually say, "save the date." We included our wedding website url so people could get more information, but putting, "invitation to follow," or something would probably have been a good choice. Oh, well!

I had some people say "we'll be there" or "can't make it" so I just noted those replies and when it came time to order invitations I checked back in with the ones who gave regrets like "Hi! I'm about to order our invitations, I just wanted to check in and make sure you were still planning on going on your vacation that weekend. If your plans changed, we would still love to have you!"

View Quoted Comment More or less, people are just like “I got your invite!” and at this point, I’m running out of fuel! I’ll probably end up sending out the same amount of invitations! Unless it’s a solid “no” then I’ll end up reaching out! With Everything going on these days, I don’t even wanna’ put any pressure on anyone.