Save the dates!

Unless your ceremony is only immediate family (parents, siblings, grandparents) then it’s extremely rude to invite additional people to the reception. If this is what you’re doing, you can still send save the dates to both groups. They would say something like “Bride and Groom will be married in a private ceremony on Date. Please save the date for their celebration of marriage on Date.” Assuming your ceremony list is only immediate family, I would just tell them individually about the ceremony location and time.

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100% this. Unless it is immediate family only at the ceremony you invite everyone to the both. Can you imagine going to the reception and discover there were 30 people (lots of relatives and friends) at the ceremony and you were part of 20 more that were only invited to the reception?

Please re-think this.

Send them to ceremony and reception guests, but make it clear what you’re asking them to save the date for (if it’s both the ceremony and reception or reception only). It is a faux pas to invite someone to the reception but not the ceremony, but you know your crowd and they may not be offended. I also don’t think it’s a big deal if you’re basically just having family at the ceremony.

View Quoted Comment It’s not rude! Totally normal - send them!

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I'm also curious to know if you're going to keep the ceremony with family only. If not, it's a tiered wedding and considered poor etiquette

View Quoted Comment Agreed. Unless the ceremony is just immediate family or you are getting married in an exclusive/fundamental/strict religious ceremony, this comes off as very rude or gift/cash-grabby.

Im not saying that is your intention at all but it comes across that way if one were to receive an invite that says ‘You aren’t allowed to see us get married but you can come by later’.

To answer your question I would only send STDs to ceremony guests.

View Quoted Comment No it’s going to be 20 people at the ceremony. Only family.

View Quoted Comment No, it’s going to be 20 people at the ceremony Just family. I am not wanting to be rude I just don’t want 250 people at my wedding ceremony

View Quoted Comment Yeah it going to be just family. Only 20 people.

View Quoted Comment I just want to have a small ceremony, my mom and dad and his family are a lot of people and it’s going to be outdoors at my parents farm in the back yard so given those circumstances I only wanted 20 some people not 250 people that we are invited to the reception

Oh, okay! In this case, I would send two different STDs. One for the family-only ceremony, and one for the reception guests

I would send to both, but send two separate ones so the reception guests don't feel left out of the ceremony.

I’m only inviting 20 family to ceremony - big party of 100 to follow. No one wants to sit and bore themselves. Some people even thanked me lol