Save the Dates

My parents didn't give me their friends addresses for STDs, so they didn't get one. But when I sent invites I had their addresses at that time. I only sent STDs to everyone that I knew I really wanted there, ie family and my friends. I had about 50 or so more invites than STDs that were my parent's friends or add ins.

I borrowed my parents' address book and wrote down the addresses I needed. If you aren't able to get the addresses from either of your parents and you aren't able to borrow their address book, I suggest you contact your family members directly to get their addresses, and have your fiance contact his family members to get their addresses. If there are any people that you don't want to contact and/or neither of you know them, then I would reconsider sending them a Save The Date. If they're friends of your parents, I wouldn't worry about sending a Save The Date to them unless your parents send you their addresses.

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Okay thank you that makes sense! We will see in October who has address and who doesn't!

I think October would be fine for save the dates.

I went after everyone personally myself, i did not want to have a mistake so i got them myself and put them in a book and will have my bridesmaids and moh help with the addressing and getting them done so it’s not just you doing it, remember not everyone will come congratulations! oh and also mid september/ october is good!

I asked my parents if there was anyone that they wanted to invite. After they said yes or no I asked for their addresses. You do have time tho so give it a while.

Something to note (not trying to be upsetting) is that you may want to be extra selective with save the dates. I came into it knowing I didn't want to be rude, and only sent them to our max guest count (154 at that time).
Cue Covid, and I had to reach out and cut it in half. I'd probably have preferred to order less save the dates originally, and then expand later if I could. You may want to take this tactic as well - make your "covid list" of the absolute essentials and give them save the dates. Might make less address worries for you right now, and really focuses you on the essentials - then you won't have to do the covid cut like most of us had to do.
Hopefully that's helpful and not upsetting - good luck!

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That is honestly a really good idea. I should contact my hall to see how they have changed for covid rules? My hall fits 600 and i have 275 but im not sure what they have done/change during this time.

Its a tad frustrating as some think im crazy for planning my wedding still as I got engaged and started planning June 2019... I have way to much down and we are way to far out to even know what our wedding will look like. My fiance and I are aware and have to plan as things are normal and know that if things are like this once we get closer plans will change. Its just frustrating when I have others bring it up... like I have to plan as things are normal. No one knows what next July will look like..

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Mhm our family gets so busy and no one helps. If I dont poke now I would be luck to get them a week before the wedding...

View Quoted Comment I do get the frustration - I can only advise (given I was in a similar situation and then had to drastically shift for covid) it's much easier to expand than to constrict. No one gets offended if you unexpectedly send them an invite but didn't get them a save the date - people get a bit offended the other way around.
Luckily my intended guests have been great on both sides and understanding - honestly some were relieved that we "uninvited" them, as people are concerned about their health.

I Got All of My Family And Friends Addresses. My FH And SIL Got Their Side Of The Families Addresses. We Did Just Message Everybody. And iThink October Is A Good Time To Send Them.

You cansend out save the dates now.
Sometimes you have to get addresses any way you can, be it texting the individual, messaging them on Facebook, or looking them up via whitepages.com

I think October is a great time to send out July save the dates!

Regarding covid, someone theoretically not wanting to come to your wedding isn't a reason not to invite them, so that's not a good argument for your future father-in-law to make. I also don't think you should assume things will be as bad in July as they are now, but they probably won't be 100% back to normal, so it is something to consider. If I were starting to plan now, I wouldn't send save the dates to everyone on the guest list. I'd only send them to the people who I felt really *needed* to be invited. We sent save the dates to 160 people, ended up getting married with 15 people present, and now have to invite all 160 people to something next year (we probably would've invited them all anyway, but now it's not optional). Anyway, that will almost certainly not happen to you. But, not promising to invite as many people (by sending them save the dates) means you're leaving yourself more options if things have to change. You can still send invitations to people who didn't get save the dates.

Address collection tip: We made an Excel book (or whatever the Google version of Excel is called so we could all access it easily). We had one sheet my parents had one, and his parents had one. Once we had them all together, I took the editing permissions away from our parents so they wouldn't be able to add anyone else without asking first.

I honestly wouldn't even stress out about it. If they don't want to help, then maybe find those you want to invite by calling or anyone on social media to get the info you need. Good luck.

I think the sooner the better, especially since covid is unpredictable. This gives people enough notice. Im getting married on June 7 2021 and I ordered my save the dates yesterday. I should be sending them out in September.