Save the dates / tone deaf??

COVID has definitely thrown some of our usual timelines and assumptions out the window. Although I have definitely seen save the dates go out a year early. What if you created a digital save the date for right now that you could share with guests? Especially since they knew you were postponing and are curious.

I would send STD 6-8 months prior. Your friends that are traveling from out of town you could tell. Most airlines won’t let you book much more than 6 months out.

I don't think August is too late for save the dates. That's still 10 months in advance, which is already on the earlier side for save the dates. Also, hopefully this doesn't sound rude, but I think most people will prioritize a wedding over an engagement party, which is why you may have had many people not able to make it. Also, the issue with sending things out so early is people will jot it down somewhere and totally forget since it's far off. That's why you send invitations closer to the date and not just send them out a year in advance. So that may be another reason for lower attendance at the engagement party. Given Covid, people are probably going to be more anxious making travel plans anyway because who knows what is happening with airlines and such, so I don't think you have to worry about people booking vacations anytime soon for your date.

8-10 months is a very typical timeframe to send save the dates for a destination wedding.

I don’t think August is too late either

6-8 months is the typical time frame to send save the dates. 8-10 months for a destination wedding.

We had our local recon June and sent Save The Dates a year in advance because one of our friends was about to book their summer vacation... for June!

It’s early for a save the date now anyway, but into summer I don’t think there’s anything terribly tone deaf about going forward with save the dates. People want things to look forward to and hope that things will be back to normal eventually. August sounds like a great time to send them to me.

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Yes to all of this. I personally probably wouldn't spend vacation time and money to travel to an engagement party no matter how many months notice I had. But I would travel to a wedding of someone I am close to, if at all possible.

So, I think you should just stick to the usual timeframe for sending save the dates. But if people are asking you now for the details and you want to give them, there's nothing wrong with telling them the date and place. But I don't think anything about the current pandemic means that your entire guest list needs to know the details much earlier than usual.

It's not uncommon to send them out 12 months ahead to give people time to plan vacations.

View Quoted Comment Hi Jana! That’s what I thought for summer month weddings!

View Quoted Comment Thank you Maggie!

View Quoted Comment I agree, I hope it gives people something to look forward to!

View Quoted Comment That’s what I’m afraid of! A lot of our friends love to travel.

View Quoted Comment Great insight! Thank you so much!

View Quoted Comment There’s no harm is sending early. Or emailing your VIPs a year out then sending STDs to everyone else 8-10 months.

Whether you give people 3 months notice, a year, or two, does not mean that date is reserved for you, or that they will come because you asked first. That is a misunderstanding of Saves. They obligate you to invite the person, but that person does not have to come. The reason that there is a convention about sending invitations 8-10 weeks before an event, not earlier, is because at a year out, the potential guests don't know all their choices. They can answer a save saying they are looking forward to coming. But until that 8-10 weeks, that is not a commitment. If in that year, that person's boyfriend's sister sets a near or conflicting date, or a relative of their own does, they change. It does not matter that you sent saves at 9 months or four. That person will go to the most important event to them, first. Or take licencing exams, or start a new job or take the 3 week vacation that their employer will only approve then. And so, e en though at 9 months, they pencilled you in on the calendar, at 8_12 weeks they may cross you out, no problem. Save the dates are a recent invention. And not everyone uses them at all, and many only for those who need to make travel reservations or put in for work leave. Because sending them does not obligate anyone to actually save the date for them. Come 2-3 months out, looking at all the graduation parties, baptisms, bar mitzvah and weddings , people will choose not the first Save received, but the event they want to go to most.

View Quoted Comment Hi Judith! Thank you for that dose of reality! I think you’re hitting the bullseye- My fiancé and I are still sad close friends didn’t prioritize our engagement party and now we’re trying to compensate by giving them the wedding info first so that they will prioritize it. It will be what it will be!

Hi!! I know what you mean I am getting married next May! But I am not trying to wait until the last minute to send out save the dates.. I i wanted to give well over a year’s notice. I read that the typical time is 8-12 months before is ideal timing to give out save the dates. I think you’re good to send them and just have a back up date if things aren’t back to normal by January maybe😊