Save-the-dates to those who can't make it?

I would, same goes for invites too, you never know what may change.

Yes, otherwise you may as well just take them off your guest list. Life changes all the time, so you never know if they may actually be able to attend after all. If nothing else, they will know that you want them there, and it's always nice to feel wanted and to know you mean something to someone.

I would. If I knew my grandma couldn’t make it to my wedding, I wouldn’t just not invite her. Plus, things change. People might have a trip planned that falls through, their work schedule might change, whatever.

If they are people you would otherwise invite, go ahead and invite them. At worst, they won't be able to come, but they won't feel like you didn't want them there. At best, they will surprise you and be able to come.

I'm not fond of STDs in general. (All too often, the couple sends them and then realizes for one reason or another that they really don't want to invite someone to whom they've sent an STD--but by then, it's too late.)

Agreed with all - I'd send it anyways. There's a chance their schedule changes, and if not, it's still a nice gesture.

No need to send a Save the Date. When it is time to address actual invitations, at 10-11 weeks out, ask them if their plans have changed and it may be possible to come( send invite). or if they cannot make it ( don't send invite ) . . . . Saves are never ever necessary. For the century before the recent invention of STD, whenever anyone needed advance notice to make plans, like expensive long distance travel , couples simply talked to them, made a phone call, put it in a letter, or emailed the information. And for everyone else, they found out details when invitations arrived 2 months out. At least half of couples still send no STD at all, mostly local guests. And those that use them may send them only to the few essential people who could never be cut. And the rest, notice at usual time. STD are a big money maker for the wedding industry. But have pitfalls. Once you send them you must invite them. So it gets sticky. People get angry if they do turn down other invitations, then you cut them . And brides mistakenly thing, once I sent the STD, they will reserve the date. Nope. They may. Or they may wait til 6-10 weeks out with all invitations for that date, and choose the invitation to the person closest to themselves or SO, see if they can afford it, and turn down everything else. If you send your best friends STD at 6 months to a year, and same date, your SO or fiance or spouse gets an invitation for a family member 3 months out, the couple may go to SO sister's wedding. Closer relationship. Their choice. So it only locks in the host who sends the STD, does not mean guest has chosen til the usual invite time, when they return written yes or no . . . So use your STD only where needed. Not to every possible person.

Depends who it is... If it's family sure send one anyway. If they tell you again after the STD I would just save the paper and cost if they are still positive they can't come. If it's a friend then maybe not send STD at all. We intended to invite FH's staff sergeant to our wedding but he was relocated to Hawaii as his time at the unit was up. FH asked him if he'd even be able to leave to come and he said he more than likely wouldn't be able to, so we didn't ever officially invite him or send STD.

I would still send them save the dates and invites. Schedules change and it's nice to include people.

Thank you all for the advice! It's a friend and her boyfriend, and the boyfriend's brother is getting married on the same date and they are both in his wedding. But sounds like a good idea to send it just in case