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Beginner May 2021

Save the date

Kathleen, on October 20, 2020 at 2:13 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 7

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I’ve been reading about save the date etiquette for weddings and I need advice. I have quite a few out of state family I know won’t be attending the wedding, I was going to send them save the dates because they are family regardless of being able to come. My parents are inviting a few friends (with my approval) and I don’t know these people very well. Do I send them save the dates or do I just send them an invitation as it gets closer? Ive seen to send save the dates to all getting an invitation but if I don’t really know these people does it make sense to? I can only imagine them getting it in the mail and going, who is this?

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7 Comments

Latest activity by Allie, on October 21, 2020 at 7:49 AM

Legend November 2019
Caytlyn · on October 20, 2020 at 2:19 PM
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Aren't they going to feel the same way then when they receive an invitation? You don't have to send everyone a save the date, but it doesn't sound like you're avoiding the problem you're concerned about by skipping a save the date.
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Legend July 2022
Lisa · on October 20, 2020 at 2:20 PM
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If you are for sure inviting them to your wedding, I would send a Save The Date. Your parents will likely already have told them that you are getting married, so they shouldn't be confused by the Save The Date.
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Beginner May 2021
Kathleen · on October 20, 2020 at 2:36 PM
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That’s a really good point. And I’m sure they have mentioned it. My mom doesn’t fully understand the whole concept of them since it wasn’t a thing when she got married. I feel like it’s courtesy, especially since my wedding is during the spring when wedding season starts
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Beginner May 2021
Kathleen · on October 20, 2020 at 2:39 PM
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No I brought that up. The suggestion was to include first and last names of me and my fiancé on the save the date just to help give more clarity for people that sort of know either me or my fiancé. Again, save the dates are a somewhat foreign concept to my parents because it didn’t used to be that way that people did it and it is viewed as an extra expense. Even though I’m getting them made super cheap
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Super October 2022
Michele · on October 20, 2020 at 2:44 PM
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The only etiquette is that your guest list must be finalized before you send them preferably 10 but no later than 6 months prior to the wedding date. You cannot revoke them once they are sent.

If you want someone in attendance, feel free to send a save the date. It plus an invite simply says 'if you are able, please come to my event'..and they may surprise you by showing up.
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Dedicated September 2021
Jessyca · on October 20, 2020 at 3:58 PM
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I would consider email save the dates for the few you arent sure about, that way, you can include a bit more information and not worry about the "extra expense". I have a similar familial obligation (out of the U.S. even!) and that is the solution my mom and I came up with for those types of guests.
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VIP November 2021
Allie · on October 21, 2020 at 7:49 AM
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I always feel that Save the Dates show that you are being invited to a wedding and to keep it open. If I didn’t receive one and others I knew did, I’d probably assume I wasn’t invited and I wouldn’t save that date. So it’s up to you on what to do; if it’s important to you/your family to have them there, I would send one.
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