Save the date

Save The Dates are really just a courtesy to guests to give them advance notice about the day and location of your wedding. Guests are not expected to reply to Save The Dates, though they are expected to respond to invitations. Anyone who gets a Save The Date should also get an invitation.

No, guests will not RSVP whether they are coming or not to save the dates. STDs are simply a way for you to let guests know in advance the date of your wedding, so they can get it on their calendars and plan accordingly. They will let you know whether they can attend or not after you send out formal invitations 6-8 weeks before the wedding.

View Quoted Comment Wow so you have to send the invitations 6-8 weeks! That’s so little time! My FH and parents in law will have a heart attack since they are thinking I should send the invitations 6 months in advance at least 😂

Save the dates are sent at 6-12 months before the wedding via word of mouth or a postcard/magnet. No guest can tell you what they are doing on X date 6-12 months ahead because it is simply a place holder and they do not rsvp. Even if they do say they can’t make it, you still send an invitation regardless and not one for a B List seat filler. Once save the dates are sent, even verbally, they cannot be revoked. That is why it strongly recommended to set the guest list in stone before you browse for venue options. An invitation is sent standard at 6-8 weeks before the wedding, no earlier or later. Rsvps are due at 4 weeks so you have a couple days buffer to contact anyone who didn’t rsvp before the headcount is due to the caterer at 2-3 weeks. Any vendor who requires these earlier has complete disregard for the standard etiquette timeline which exists for a reason. Also, many employers do not give final approval for time off or schedules prior to 4 weeks, hence another reason for the specific timeline and not being able to commit earlier.

View Quoted Comment Oh my gosh, no! That’s the purpose of sending STDs 6-9 months in advance! People won’t RSVP to invites received 6 months before an event. And even if they did, there’s such a big chance of things changing in those 6 months. Then you’re left dealing with people changing their RSVPs. And lots of people will lose the invitation during those 6 months- which means you will be fielding calls and texts asking the date, time, place, etc. Not to mention people who just forget about it completely, leaving you having to track them down for their answer after the RSVP deadline passes. You have enough to plan/worry about- don’t add that mess to it!

Copied! Will follow all these steps. Thanks a lot!

See I personally see Save the Dates as an added cost. We plan to send invites just about 6-8 months early if not closer to 10 months before the wedding (oct wedding so send in jan) because we have so many out of state guests and those with children (child free) that we need to know in advance for catering and they can make arrangements early enough. but they do not need to rsvp right away either, they will have months to respond..... Most know when and where already anyways

View Quoted Comment Definitely an added cost forsure. I’m going to include on my save the date the link for my wedding website do at least people can start getting informed.

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I would re-evaluate that plan. Sending the invites early means that people will lose them or forget to respond. Also how do people know what they're doing in 8 months? You're going to get a lot of "maybe"s with this approach. You'll be chasing RSVP's for sure this way.

Also sending invitations that early will look like you're B-listing.

If you want to save money, just let your VIP's know via text or something and send the invitations out at the normal time.

View Quoted Comment But wont the same happen with Save the Dates? like genuinely asking reading the other comments it makes sense but also, couldnt the same just happen? also what is B-listing? ive seen it used a few times. Thats what we plan, text if we do adjust, i just want the people im inviting to have enough time to save/take time off to travel.

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No because save the dates don't need a response. When someone receives an invitation for a wedding in 6 weeks, they can send the RSVP right away vs. shelving the invite for 6 months. People won't know what their schedules are 8 months out and they won't be likely to RSVP right away. You'll be reminding them in 6 months to do it.

B-listing is having an A list (the people you really want) and a B list (the people that are optional). When an A-lister declines, some people pull from the B-list and then send an invitation out. This is widely considered to be rude, because obviously some people are prioritized over others. The way people make this work is to send out invitations really early and then they have time to issue them after the "no" RSVP's come in.

View Quoted Comment Interesting, it makes sense. in my mind its "oh you can rsvp later, closer to the date" thing. We just try to do everything early so we can make payments on things easier, since we are paying for ourselves. its why we booked our venue early this year for an oct 2024 wedding. so in my mind if i get guest count sooner i can work with catering for accurate prices. but that does make sense on things. Also wow i didnt know A and B lists were a thing! thats crazy!!

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That's not a very good plan. People will forget, lose the invite, and won't know what they are doing that far in advance.

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One more point. Leaving it that far ahead gives people time to change their minds. I can foresee a lot of flip flopping around so I think it's going to defeat that purpose.

View Quoted Comment I agree with you on this one. When you give so much time a lot can happen/change. But also, remember you are celebrating with the people who love you and support you, and if they want to miss the date or forget about it that's on them. I wouldn’t miss or throw away an invitation sent 8 months before the wedding because I can easily put it on my fridge, plus time flies and you don’t know what’s your schedule look like a year from now but I’m sure you can reserve the date if that person is important to you.

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You would think, but honestly you're giving people too much credit. Your wedding will never be as important to anyone else as is it to you and your FI. Also people may reserve the date, but remembering to RSVP in six months from the invitation is a lot to expect.