Save the Date regrets

Sorry that you are in such a tough spot!! Wish I had an answer for you.

Unless you are okay with potentially severing the relationship you have to send the invites. Not sending them will be the final nail in the coffin of those friendships, and if your FH doesn't leave as quickly as he would like it could make things awkward for him around the time of the wedding.

I would say send them - anyone who feels like the friendship isn't worth it or who is upset will RSVP no anyway.

Not knowing the level of closeness...

I would suggest still inviting them and leave it's up to them if they want to come or not. That's what I'm planning on doing with some of my questionables that I regret sending Save The Dates to. It's a lot of work for a guest to come to a wedding - buy a gift, may need to buy an outfit, take the entire afternoon/evening to attend etc - leave the ball in the court if they decide if they want to do that.

Since you changed jobs I don't think people would expect you to send them an invite. We had a gal that left and got married 6 months later - it was questioned by a few employees of "why" they still received an invite.

So there's a few options to ponder.

Maybe an UO but I think it depends on the people and how well you know them...

For example - I was asked for my address by a coworker to be invited to her wedding and she ended up leaving the company a few months later. I was not invited to the wedding and honestly not offended

The SAME thing happened to my fiance. We sent Save the Dates to his co-workers, and then his old recruiter contacted him because his dream job opened up and he couldn't pass it up. I guess the difference for us is that we still really hope they'll come to the wedding. They've been like a second family to my fiance, they actually are more supportive and proud of him then his own family. I think my fiance really needed these people to be in his life and it would be special to have them at our wedding.

I'm not sure if every area is the same but where I'm from the wedding guest typically gives the bride and groom $100+ as a gift so guests normally only attends if they really care about keeping a relationship with the bride and groom. So don't worry about them going just to go. We feel like a lot of my fiance's co-workers will choose not to come because their spouse will be like "why are we going... you don't even work with them anymore?" So we definitely are anticipating a higher decline rate than if my fiance was still at the company. I'd just invite them all to follow etiquette. They definitely won't all attend.

I have some similar regrets..maybe inviting too many ex-coworkers, or inviting people because I was excited initially about the wedding planning and now that the list is long thinking..why?. As PPs have said, maybe they won't come if it's weird. But I think you still have to send the invite.

Oy.

I think you still have to invite. I hate severing relationships with co-workers, because honestly you never know when you will need a recommendation, or a connection at another opportunity down the road. This makes it extra tricky because your FH still works there, I think. I know you said he wants to leave but August is only 4 months away. Will he be getting a new job in 4 months or less?

If there really is no relationship there, they will decline the invite.

This is a cautionary tale against STDs if I have ever heard one.

FTR I have several ex co-workers coming to my wedding. We are still really good friends even though we rarely get to see each other in person and I can't wait to see them at the wedding. They are for sure valuable to me as friends as well as future networking options.