Same wedding month

I would talk to her to find out more information. It would be nice if you both can make it to each other's wedding.

I would just start letting your mutual friends know when your date is for right now and maybe not directly ask your friend. You can just say something like, “ I’ll be sending save the dates out in 2019 but I just wanted to let you know the date now in case you need to plan any PTO needed early.”

View Quoted Comment This brings up a good question too, do you guys both live in the same town? And if you’re going on a honeymoon right after your wedding and her wedding is the following week you might not be able to go to her wedding?

This would stress me out. What date are you thinking and why do you feel obligated to that date? In my opinion, a date is a date. Would pushing it back(or forward) a month be detrimental? I mean, if you have already locked in dates with vendors I could see a problem or if your date is super sentimental I could see being upset. Maybe talk to your friend and see what she’s got planned and then express your concerns. I’m sure you guys can work something out. You are friends after all 💞

View Quoted Comment We don't live in the same town I'm in new york she is from New Jersey but now lives in Texas I'm not sure where she is having the wedding

View Quoted Comment My fiance really wants may 16th I don't really know why I don't know if she has any vendors set up yet

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No we do not live in the same town, and no we're going to wait to have our honeymoon. I'm actually flying in to get married. Lol I actually have a story behind a "friend". This friend or shall I say ex-friend changed her wedding date to the same date and time as my wedding and that forced a wedge between us because she felt like she did nothing wrong. It also forced our mutual friends to choose which wedding to go to.

I am only suggesting that you ask questions. If she is anything remotely like the "ex-friend" I had, that should tell you a lot.

Wishing you the best!

If you definitely already have your date, I’d suggest telling friends about it now so that they’re aware.

I would just ask her, if you aren't set on a date. If you are set on a date & have booked a venue, I'd just tell her yours so she knows.

I would just reach out and be like 'Hey! I heard you were engaged! Congrats! I am too and I heard we were thinking of the same month. Do you have a specific date picked out yet, just want to make sure we don't overlap too much since we have a lot of common friends'

View Quoted Comment Wow that sucks that she did that! ☹️

View Quoted Comment If her wedding was the week before or after and it was in Texas would you want to go/be able to go? If so maybe straight up asking is a good idea

Do you think it’s possible she wouldn’t invite you to her wedding?

So we figured it out i think she already has her venue booked so I'm going to change my date hers was about a week after mine and it's in Arkansas lol I am ok with changing the date we just might move it up instead then

I got engaged and 2 weeks later my coworker did as well! We are both teachers, so our schedule is the same lol the biggest thing was just communicating with each other. We're both not from the area and plan on having weddings far away lol but we're just going to plan some things together. Plus it makes the planning fun!

View Quoted Comment Yes, this. If she is a good enough friend to invite, then she is a good enough friend to call and talk to about it. You cannot get upset if she chose the same date. But if like many she has not nailed down an exact date with family and a venue, this early, she may X out your date on her calendar of options. Do not expect her to hear by the grapevine. Keep in mind, her family and her FI may have to avoid other nearby dates. Others in their families may marry, graduate, have big anniversaries with plans in the works. And their choice of church or venue only be available together on that date. So you cannot be upset about it, but sharing your good news and date, may make a difference. . . Keep in mind when you tell friends, that when 2 weddings are on the same day, except for bridal party, people do not come to the wedding they heard about first, or the one that sent a Save the Date First. You do not deserve people, and no verbal, " I plan to come " statement , made a long term ahead, matters. . . In the end, 2-3 months before the 2 conflicting weddings, and even a 3rd in their families on the same date, every guest actually getting 2-3 invitations will make the final binding decision then. They will decide according to who is closest to them. So if a sister gets engaged only 5 months before, and chooses a date 2 friends have, the final decision even your closest friend makes, may be their own sister or cousin, not either of you. And after degree of closeness, people look at, who do I have time and money to travel to? . . So even if you do have the same date, some friends and relatives are going to choose the other friend, or somebody else entirely, and accept their invitation not yours. Some of your college friends in common will not come to either of yours. So do not let the date thing wreck a friendship, if the same date, over people who may not choose to come at all to either of those. . After the first year after college, as friends scatter to other jobs and schools, the majority of friend groups make other friends, get engaged, have babies on the way. So talk ASAP to the other person, so she knows you have a date. But graciously accept if she has the same one. It might in the end be a real conflict for only 2-3 couples. Other people would not have come to either, or skipped any wedding 200+ miles away, or will go to a family thing that day. It would be awful to lose the other B-to-B friendship, over just a couple of friends. Good luck with it 😊