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Just Said Yes October 2021

Same-sex Wedding Support Group

William, on February 6, 2019 at 9:44 PM Posted in Planning 0 12

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So, this is really a vent session... because I feel like I'm about to lose my mind at how lost I am at planning this wedding for my partner and I. I'm finding that a lot of the traditions and expectations are based on traditional heterosexual weddings. While it's easy to say, Oh make your own rules... it's difficult to know what are the basic must haves regardless of the genders. Not only that but all of the apps are super super bride-heavy. I started doing a seating shart via Wedding Wire, and I cant even get a Male-Male icon for the chart. Also, I ended going off on one of the venue manager for consistently using the phrase Bridal Party. Like is it to hard to just say Wedding Party. And how many flowers are too many flowers for Male wedding. Or should that even be a thing? Arrrrgh! Just needed to vent about my same-sex struggles. Would love to hear from other same-sex couples struggling like me.

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12 Comments

Latest activity by Ivy ORP, on July 15, 2019 at 4:13 PM

Devoted April 2020
Danielle · on February 6, 2019 at 10:08 PM
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I'm not a same sex couple, but I do understand your story. My best friend got married last year and he had a great wedding. Basically though before doing anything I would pick your colors, theme, and decide if you or him like the idea of flowers. A wedding best represents your love for one another. Who you are as a couple for example me and my FH love the Modern style of weddings so that's what we chose, my best friend and his husband liked the more rustic style so that's what he did and after you have theme everything else just seems to fall into place I dont believe that there are "RULES" in love therefore there are none in wedding I hope I helped
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VIP March 2019
Yoice · on February 6, 2019 at 10:47 PM
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I agree with this. I only want to add a small advice in regards. Don’t let the little things from the apps get into the planning. Society is not fully develop on the topic but is slowly getting there. Just keep enjoying the planning with what you have and create your own rules. Have fun! Planning goes by so fast
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Legend November 2019
Caytlyn · on February 6, 2019 at 11:42 PM
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I truly do feel your pain. My FW and I attended a wedding expo a few weeks ago, where we both wore “bride” pins and held hands, but we were continuously asked if she was my MOH or my sister. It’s also annoying filling out contracts and having to put one of our names in the “groom” field. I can only imagine how much more annoying it is being a groom trying to navigate this bride oriented industry.

he only must haves are you, your partner, an officiant, and a marriage license. Other than that, you’re right, make your own rules!

PS there’s no such thing as too many flowers
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Master September 2019
Colleen · on February 7, 2019 at 12:19 AM
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As far as flowers have as many as you want 1,000 yellow daisies. As far as support group while we all may not be in a same sex marriage we will support you. My fiancé is having two groomwomen no grooms man. So we keep having to put there names in the grooms man slots.
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Expert June 2019
Anna · on February 7, 2019 at 12:39 AM
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If you feel like it, shoot the wedding wire folks an email regarding the icons. That seems like a simple fix that they should handle ASAP. I have noticed the admin here try to use inclusive language, which I appreciate. In modern times you should not be dealing with these things, it's very unfair and I'm sorry.

You can absolutely never have too many flowers!
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Just Said Yes October 2021
William · on February 7, 2019 at 6:05 AM
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This has been great. I feel better already
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Expert May 2019
Cynthia · on February 7, 2019 at 9:44 AM
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Hang in there William! Agree with PP about messaging Wedding Wire admins and asking them to assist with a groom-groom icon. Unfortunately, society is still catching up to what’s equal and right for you, but I know you’ll find a ton of support and love from everyone on here! Don’t be afraid to continue correcting people on the verbiage for your party (try to be polite about it as long as you can! 😊), and you know what? Order as many damn flowers as you want! Ideally within your budget, of course. Put together a wedding that you and your FH want that represents you guys. And keep trying to have fun through it all! It gets stressful, but find the joys and share them with your partner throughout the process.
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Master October 2018
HayMrsO · on February 7, 2019 at 3:11 PM
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First of all, congratulations on your engagement!
We are not a same sex couple, but I could see where this would be super frustrating for you! Your post here might just create the change you are looking for.
As far as flowers go - NEVER enough flowers! Well, my budget told me otherwise, but you know what I mean!
Every wedding, no matter the genders of the couple, is unique in it's own way. I would look up wedding ideas in the style you have in mind and then make it your own. We threw out all kinds of traditions for our wedding. They are just antiquated and not really needed. I walked down the aisle by myself, we did no garter toss or bouquet toss, no first dance with our parents, etc. We wrote our own ceremony (after lots of research on the internet).
I am sure that you will do an amazing job making this day special for you and your man! You will always have people here the will support you. I hope we can help!
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Just Said Yes October 2021
William · on February 8, 2019 at 8:09 AM
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Y'all are amazing. I'm definitely going to write an article when this is all over. #mygaywedding
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Dedicated June 2020
Future Mrs.kimbro · on March 22, 2019 at 9:10 PM
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Congratulations William we are a same sex couple we are getting married on 06/20/2020 in Washington DC, I concur with you on a lot of what you were saying, but please don't let it beckon your spirit
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Savvy July 2021
Kalynne · on March 22, 2019 at 10:14 PM
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Not in a same sex couple, buuuut I did get to be a bridesmaid in my aunts’ wedding (they have been together longer than I’ve been alive)! I agree with reaching out regarding the icons, simple fix. Other than that, seriously, do what you want. It doesn’t matter why you want it that way, your wedding day is about celebrating your love in the way that YOU want to! We all run into unwanted opinions, just don’t let it get you down, or make you compromise the vision you have!
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VIP October 2019
Ivy ORP · on July 15, 2019 at 4:13 PM
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My FW and I are finding some of the over the top bridal stuff ridiculous. Do I really need a swimsuit, robe, and panties that say bride???? She is struggling to find an outfit that isn't girlie (like mine) but doesn't make her look like she's wearing her son's suit. As for flowers, as many as you want!!! In fact we decided no flowers at ours that aren't growing naturally in our outdoor venue or the paper flower corsage I'll be wearing made from old comic books, so get extra for us! I started officiating wedding when marriage equality became law of the land and have seen everything from super traditional brides to utterly non traditional grooms. Each found a way to make the ceremony and reception unique to them. So I suggest starting there. What elements of a wedding speak to you and your relationship? Include those! Toss the ones that don't. As long as you, your officiant, and your supportive loved ones are there, you have all you need. Good luck and have fun!
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