Same-sex engagement issues!?

I have never been through this personally but fully support equality....and am excited for new developments not only in society but in our legal system. You've been through FAR worse than this...and all members of the LGBT community have had to fight for their rights, as I'm sure you have. Now it's coming together for you. You kindof have to look at it like, it;s you disappointing me if you aren't supportive. Not sure how much help I can be except say I am happy for you doing what makes you happy....your family should too. I think it's best to tell them in person. My 2 cents, worth what you paid.

Good luck to both of you and congats on your engagement!!!

"We're in love, we're getting married, we're happy, and we hope you can be happy for us!"

Aww you guys are a cute couple. I have not been through your situation but hopefully your FMIL can see how happy you two are and put aside any of her thoughts and help you plan the big day! Goodluck!

The only thing I can suggest is to tell any family members you care about as early as possible. Just seeing your excitement and having some time pass may make them more supportive. And if not, at least you have more time to deal with the issue, so that it doesn't affect your day.

I don't have any advice but wanted to say congrats!!

First off, congratulations on your engagement!

I'm straight so I haven't had to deal with the issues you're facing.

But, my two cents would be to tell your FMIL about the engagement now. I feel like the more time she has to come around to the idea, the better. Having rings in a couple of months will just further prove to her that's it happening, and she can either be a buzzkill, or buck up and enjoy the fact that her daughter is getting married to someone who loves her. That's what's important. Best of luck!

Congratulations on your engagement and upcoming marriage. My advice to you [and I know this is easier said than done] is to change your mindset about this. You are who you are and you love who you love. If people cannot be happy for you - especially family, then the problem and the loss is theirs. I have many friends in same-sex relationships and many of them have married. The ones who did not have supportive families have all said that the key to their own happiness was to accept that some people would not be accepting and to let them go. There should be no "fear" in announcing your engagement to anyone. Only happiness.

Good luck and happy planning!!

Congratulations!!! I'm not gay either, but I've married many gay couples; in fact, I married two cool women last weekend, and they were 'given' away' by their moms. I've heard from many of my couples that they were amazed at the support they found in the most unlikely places; my ladies at the Empire State Building got emails from literally all over the world congratulating them.

Tell them now. Let everyone get used to the idea and start viewing your relationship through a different lens. (I've heard from many of my parents that when their kids first announced their intent, they weren't entirely on board, but their love for their children, combined with watching how serious and meaningful their relationships were, turned them around.

I think most parents want their kids to be happy, and while it may not be in the exact format they expected, in time, they'll be onboard.

Don't be afraid and don't stall; it's something you'll anticipate with trepidation for every day until you do it. Fear of the unknown is often worse than the unknown itself.

I don't have any experience, but I wanted to say you two are adorable. You have this 1920s feel that is super sexy. Good call on the waiting until the rings get in. I think that goes with any relationship (straight or gay). If there is no ring, some just roll their eyes and say "Yeah, sure." But I understand waiting is making everything swirl around your head and go crazy. I think with you announcing your engagement, don't be afraid. If people aren't happy, then that is a flag to get rid of them from your life. You don't need that kind of negativity. So count it as a plus I understand it's going to be extremely difficult, since I've never been through coming out. But I'm just trying to keep your mind off of the negative and get you to stay positive

Fla. does not yet allow same-gender marriages (hopefully, that will change soon).

The first commitment ceremony I officiated (years ago), the families of neither bride attended. But, they were surrounded by friends who loved & supported them.

The most recent commitment ceremony -- families were there in support of the couple.

So, times are changing. Hopefully, your families will be happy and supportive, too.

You might decide not to announce an engagement, but it's probably a good time to make it known that you are indeed a couple. I think it might be easier to take on one thing at a time. You aren't out to everyone. An engagement announcement would be a huge surprise if they don't even know you are dating each other.

Congratulations!

I would tell your families about your engagement now. Having a ring doesn't necessarily make it any more valid or real. In fact, many couples get engaged without a ring. The only requirement for engagement is mutual consent to marry. So go ahead and share your joy with your families. All you have to say is what Nancy T said "We're in love, we plan to marry, and we hope you can be happy for us."

GOOD LUCK!

Stop stalling. Your anxiety will continue to build until September. I really don't think if you tell now or later is going to change to outcome of how people react, it may make you feel a litle better though so you're not holding stuff in. I'm not very good with the holding stuff in...I did a flash mob to propose to my girlfriend LOL...so EVERYONE knew! The people that have your back are going to continue to have your back if that is genuine. Congrats on your engagement. Good luck!

Congratulations on your engagement! Why waste time and not say anything? In the end, it really doesn't matter because those who truly love you will be thrilled and take your happiness into consideration! This way it also gives them time to "deal" with the reality of it. Hopefully, by the time your rings come in and it is official, they'll be over it!

Congrats! I am also straight and so am not very familiar with your situation, but I am all for equality and wish you the best of luck!! You two are a cute couple!

Congrats! I'm sorry you are having so much anxiety. I wish I had more advice for you, but I agree with other posters. Your family will support you or they won't. Their choice. Just tell them, you're in love and it's going to happen. You deserve all the happiness in the world, and I hope this all works out for you both

First of all, congratulations! I'm straight, but I am an ally (worked with WA United for Marriage, and we're now helping Oregon!). This is going to be scary, but it sounds like you both have had experience with a coming-out story before, and I'm sure that your family members will surprise you with all of their support-and if they don't, just remember that they will regret it later on when they miss out on you and your fiancee's special day. Just tell them, "We're happy, we're in love, and we are getting married. We would love to have you there to celebrate on our day, and we hope you join us". And if they choose not to, their loss.

PS, you two are adorable together

I have nothing to add, just wanted to say that you two are super cute together!

Best of luck and welcome to the world of overbearing FMILs!!

Congratulations! And I hope that you feel welcome here. IMO it doesn't matter who is getting married, there are still stressful things that you will need advice about and WW is the perfect place to get those answers.

I will say that my mom is a lesbian (my mom and dad were married, had three babies and after years of being unhappy she came out to all of us. She and her now wife are the happiest couple I know). I can relate in the way that telling people can be awkward but I in no way assume that our situations are the same. I have learned after 12 years that it is just easier to come right out and say it (easier said than done). As accepting as our culture is becoming we still have the mind set of heterosexual couples and that is usually what comes to peoples minds first. For awhile I would refer to my mom's wife as her partner. That was odd because then people would assume business partner and get confused.

I know at our wedding there will be members of FH family or family friends that I have never met that don't know my mom is a lesbian and with 200+ people there are bound to be guests that are uncomfortable seeing my mom and her wife dance or kiss but that is their problem not mine.

My advice is tell people now. You are excited and you don't want to have to contain that to just the two of you and WW

I hope everything goes well!