Yesterday, Saturday April 4th was supposed to be our wedding date. Yesterday morning, it wasn't bothering me as much. I was fine, at least I thought I was. Then, in the evening when my fiance was cooking dinner (around the time our wedding would have started) I began to feel very anxious, nauseous and uncomfortable. My chest started to hurt and I had this horrible feeling in my stomach. I tried my best to shake it off but I couldn't. I finally ended up breaking down, virtually collapsing into my fiance from pent up fatigue and sadness about it all. I told myself to stop, but I just couldn't. I was really distraught right in that moment. All the planning that we did, preparations we made, cancelled due to this virus. I kept trying to convince myself that we're not the only ones who are suffering, and while this is of course true, I couldn't help but feel like OUR special day was ruined. My fiance really helped me through my emotions and assured me that everything would be fine. We plan on having an intimate ceremony/reception later on (thinking between July-October or beyond) Really depends on when establishments start opening up again. Right now, the "big celebration" is so far removed from my mind now. I just want to BE MARRIED with my soul mate.
I just needed to vent. It helps to talk about frustrations and not keep it inside. I hope all brides affected by this virus have a great support system during this very difficult time.
