Sad News

Hi Vanessa,

I am so sorry that this is happening to you. I am sending you prayers and good vibes to help push you through this and hoping that it is the best possible outcome for the situation. Stay strong, stay present and just be there, I am sure your family is struggling with it but staying stuck in this negative cloud will not help. Reinforce positivity by plain and simple trying to be as positive as possible. It won't be easy we always have to make the best out of our lives because they're so short so don't stop living, make every moment count! Best of luck, praying for your family!

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Thank you!

I'm so sorry you are going through this. It's weird how we always seem to see our parents as infallible, and we're shocked when something like this happens. But they are human just like us, with a limited time on this Earth.

That being said, I'm not sure how helpful this will be to you, but I'll give it a shot. My father is dying. He's got a weird lung disease, degenerative, that is slowly suffocating him to death. He's very organized, so has all his ducks in a row, because the doctors can't tell him how long he has. It could be a month, could be a year. Initially, I was freaking out because I can't imagine him not walking me down the aisle. But my wedding is still a year away!! He doesn't think he's going to make it that long. I'm hopeful that he will.

But, at some point I realized "what am I doing stressing over the wedding?" It hit me that I should be spending my time enjoying my dad, and making as many memories as I can before he dies. Once he's gone, there will be no more. So, as hard as it was, I had to stop relating to him in terms of my wedding. Thankfully, he lives close (about 15 minutes away), so I can see him pretty much whenever I want. My siblings both live hundreds of miles away (one in another state) so they don't have that luxury. Instead of freaking out about whether he'll be there or not, I've chosen to just live. Just go over, make pancakes for breakfast and sit at the table with him telling me stories about the old days. Or whatever. Watching his favorite western show after lunch (even though it doesn't interest me), because that's what he likes. If he asks about the wedding, I'm always willing to talk. But mostly he doesn't. I think he doesn't want to point to the fact that he may not be there for me. So we talk about other stuff, other people, whatever.

I'm not trying to imply that your dad may be dying, as I have no idea what his condition is. But even if he isn't, wouldn't it be nice to just spend time with him? Just talk, laugh, whatever? We get so busy in our daily lives that sometimes I think we forget to slow down and enjoy each other. I didn't get this opportunity with my mom, as the cancer took her pretty quickly. So, I'm taking the opportunity with my dad. I want to cram as many new memories into my head as I can with whatever time we have left. The rest will still be there after he's gone. My heart goes out to you!! Blessings to you and your family.

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Thanks! My fiance and I live in a different state than my parents so I can't spend as much time as I would like to. I am going home this weekend for Memorial Day so I will get to spend about 4 days with my family which I am very thankful for. This is really hard because I haven't really ever had to deal with death. The only people I know that have died were my great grandparents when I was little so I don't remember them that well. All of my grandparents are still alive and my dad is only 48 which is still young for someone to pass away. I am praying that the doctors can help him, but unfortunately his condition isn't curable. He has cirrhosis of the liver, but we are waiting yet to find out which type because one is treatable (not curable), but the other isn't.

Sending good thoughts to you and your family.

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Thank you!

Sending prayers for your Dad and your family.

I am sorry you are going through this. I hope you can not dwell on it too much as he will also be able to feel that energy off of you. The best thing for people who are sick is to have positive thoughts.

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Thank you!

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Thank you! It is so difficult because we just found out today and I can't believe that a doctor knew about this for 2 years and kept it from us.

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Oh Vanessa, I'm so sorry!! Maybe he can get on the list for transplant? My dad tried that initially, and it looked like he would be a good candidate for lung transplant. But there is a whole battery of tests that you have to go through just to get on the list. Unfortunately, even though he passed most of the tests with flying colors, there was one that he didn't, and the transplant team decided they couldn't overlook it. It was extremely disappointing, as that was the one thing that could have saved his life. My dad is 75, so he's lived a long life already. I just wish I could give him more time. But 48 is super young!! In fact, that's younger than me! lol (obviously I'm an older bride)

Even though you're not geographically close, you can still spend time. Thanks to technology, you can video chat! I do that with relatives that are far away. My Auntie and I just did that last weekend. It's so much better than a phone call, because you can see the other person!

I really hope he has the treatable type. My prayers are with you and your family.

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Sounds like you may have grounds for a medical malpractice suit. Most lawyers will give you a free consultation so you can explore whether or not you have a case against this doctor. So unethical!!

View Quoted Comment It is horrible and I am so mad. Unfortunately I don't know as if he would be able to get a lawyer. I used to work for medical malpractice attorneys and because he is an alcoholic and knew he was born with hep c they might not be willing to take his case.

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Ok, that could change matters, at least in terms of a lawsuit. But I still think it's worth talking to someone. I have been a legal secretary for almost 30 years. I've learned that you can't really know the answer until you ask the question. So, until they tell him he has no case, I'd look into it.

View Quoted Comment My parents probably will especially because my mom already mentioned it. Even though he has a history, it was still wrong of the doctor to keep this information to himself.

Sending prayers 🙏 and love for you and your family.