Sad anxious and overwhelmed! (sorry for the long rant)

Okay, there is a lot here, so I'll go step by step.

First, you are not alone. This was me about a month ago. FH and I were fighting like crazy for months, my wedding plans were falling apart because of the pandemic, my extended family was torturing me about my wedding date. I got such bad stress migraines that I had to take time off of work. I wanted to just call the whole thing off and be alone.

Our weddings are similarly timed, and I have done a few things to make myself feel better about the virus. We have decreased the guest list so that we are less likely to have to uninvite people. We hired a planner to help us set up contracts so that we wouldn't lose a ton of money. We planned a honeymoon at a family beach house so there is no chance we will have to cancel and lose money. We switched to a venue that's part of a larger organization so we don't have to worry about them going out of business, and we have had long talks with our venue about precautions they are taking for the weddings they are currently doing. We have slowly become comfortable with the idea of getting married with a smaller group and focusing instead on the beauty of the marriage.

Like I said, I totally can relate to the fighting. Fighting is the worst, and the more you fight, the more you will fight. I think it becomes a downward spiral as trust decreases and suspicion increases. The way my FH and I got past this was to break the cycle. We did talk to a pastor, who acted as a couple's counselor and was able to point out and fix bad habits we had built up over the fighting period. Then FH and I made concerted efforts to do kind things for each other, to assume the best during each interaction, and especially to hug and kiss more. We also had a very serious talk about committing to fixing the relationship and making things work. We remembered why we fell in love in the first place, and it has actually strengthened the relationship.

On my own, I really found value in writing out my feelings every day. It helped me process them, which made me less likely to lash out at FH and also less likely to spend the day crying or with a pit in my stomach. I find that when I lay out my concerns and feelings, I can usually work through a way to cope with them. I sometimes share what I write with FH and with my mother, so they can give me some perspective and advice.

On your health, DO NOT GIVE UP. Don't get discouraged by doctors. I really urge you to watch this video of a ballet dancer who seemed to have a similar health issue: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p5WWm2tXNvg . She went to multiple doctors before finding a way to get her weight gain issue under control, and she has really good tips and a hopeful story. Here is what she says about her illness:

"Absolutely see a doctor. You need to be getting a professional's help if you are not feeling well. STARTING with self diagnosis can be dangerous. HOWEVER... you know your body better than ANYONE. I went through 8 different doctors (literally) and 7 told me I was absolutely insane. If I hadn't taken things into my own hands, I wouldn't be doing better. I would still be very ill. Doctors aren't perfect- no one is! If you are still having symptoms even though your blood work, etc. says you are "fine", I encourage you to do your research. Food is SO important. The right supplements are SO important. It's not just about taking medicine and getting better. It's the whole picture. None of those doctors told me about nutrition relating to my thyroid. None of these doctors told me about genetic mutation. If I hadn't kept digging, I wouldn't even know that existed. And I HAD to - I have no medical history due to being adopted! So, should you see a doctor? YES. They can help you a TON. And you need to be monitored. BUT... should you take your health into your own hands? YES. Because you know yourself better than anyone else. xoxo"

Lastly, if money and family support are becoming stressors, have a small wedding that you can absolutely fund and control. FH and I are having a beautiful church ceremony and a luncheon at the same location. It's not my original plan of a grand dinner reception, but we are SO HAPPY. So much less to juggle, no need to rely on the money of others, and still going to be a wonderful guest experience.

So don't lose hope. Keep reaching out on the forums to vent and seek advice! We are here for you.

I am so sorry that you are feeling this way. My best suggestion is to take a break from wedding planning for a couple/few weeks. You still have several months until your wedding, so I think taking a break will be good for you.

You and your FH should plan a date day together to reconnect! Something that does not involve wedding planning at all! Something outdoors? I'm not sure where you live and what options you have, but maybe a hike or kayaking?

I think limiting your stress will also help with your weight gain. But I do hope that you are healthy and that things start to change for the better for you! Always know you can come here to talk weddings (hopefully positively) whenever you feel like you cannot do that with you family.

Good luck!!!

I'm so sorry. I can kind of relate to how you feel. My husband and I decided to try to conceive as soon as we got married so I quit taking my birth control and didn't have a period for over three months when I went to gynecologist. I spent several months going to him trying to figure out the problem, but I felt like he wasn't doing enough. He finally sent me for testing then wasn't completely honest about the results. I looked on the portal and saw the results so I knew he wasn't being honest. I switched doctor's and couldn't be happier that I did. The new doctor has helped me so much. I was diagnosed with PCOS and he gave me medicine that brought my period on. I've now been having regular periods and will hopefully conceive soon. Based on my experience, if the doctor you are currently going to is brushing off your concerns then I would find a new doctor ASAP. Your physical health can definitely effect your emotional health. Once your physical health has improve, your emotional health should also improve. I will say that emotional health can greatly impact your physical health as well. For me, I know the more I stress about conceiving the more pressure and stress I'm putting on my body which makes it that more difficult to conceive. So for you, the more pressure and stress you put on yourself the harder it is going to be for you to lose weight. I know from my experience I have been very short tempered which has caused issues between my husband and I. Try to take one day at a time because that's all we are given.