Sad and Disappointed about RSVPs

I'm so sorry! I completely understand being upset. Most of our wedding will end up being FH's family and friends because mine just don't want to travel. Two aunts and two uncles aren't coming and don't really have an excuse besides the inconvenience of traveling - and I'm very close with all of them...or I thought I was. I always make an effort to go to family events, too, so the fact that they don't can hurt. Have you gotten all of your rsvps back or do you still need to call people? Stay positive, you will have a great time regardless!

I'm sorry! People suck.

Yes totally going through this right now too! All of my declines came at the end of our RSVP period too so it's been this barrage of "no's". I also have an aunt who declined for absolutely no reason, and FSIL is also not attending. I was thrilled with the FSIL thing because she is crazy, but I know it really upset FH because she should have been there. It's really hard not to take declines personally, because sometimes they are. My only advice (that I'm trying to follow myself) is to focus on the people who are making the effort to be there. These are the people who really love you and will support you in the future.

This is my biggest fear, right now I am sitting at 50% response rate. I'm sure the no's are going to pour in at the end. How close are you to the 90? When is the rsvp due date?

I'm sorry, but don't take it personally, as hard as that is. Weddings are expensive to go to and not everyone can afford to go, no matter how much they'd like to. And you KNOW how crappy people are about RSVP'ing.

Keep on planning, and have a wonderful day with the people who can come to share your wedding.

The deadline was yesterday and today I am starting to call, email, message people to check in about their RSVP. It's just hard knowing more no's are coming. As of now we have 75 people.

I'm glad the number more than doubled since your original post. Keep hounding people, it's not uncommon to have to hold people's hands to see if they are coming.

I know how you feel as far as being discouraged from continuing your plans. I was the same. Wedding was near DH's hometown, and my family and friends were all out of state. So I totally hear you. But I can also tell you that the feeling will pass. You'll remember that all this planning isn't JUST for the guests but it's also for you and your FH. It's all the stuff you envisioned for YOUR day. And whether 20 people or 120 people are there, you still want to plan your dream wedding. They say that the people that matter most will be there, well it's sort of true. I know there were people that missed that I really care about but I tried not to think of them too much and enjoy the people that were there. Honestly, I had like 75 people and there was so much going on and so much planned that I didn't even get to talk to everyone. In fact I probably only really got to like 3/4 of the people.

I hope you get some more yes's, but this feeling will pass, I promise. You'll try your dress on or look at your cake topper or hear your first dance song and you'll get excited again. Try to focus on the fun planning and forget about those crappy guests!!

MalB, even if you end up with just those 75 guests, realize that you will not have an empty room. We just did a wedding on Friday and there were 60 guests. The room looked full (the venue put 6 chairs to a table instead of 8).

As far as being disappointed by the declines, please don't take it personally. It isn't personal -- it's probably financial. Many people are strapped, and even if they had a year to save for airfare from Rhode Island to Wisconsin, they still have to deal with accommodations and restaurant meals. Plus, you're getting married on a Sunday. That will require taking Monday off of work so that they can fly home. Just remember, if your wedding was within driving distance, many of those people who declined would have probably accepted.

Remember, you won't be thinking about who's not there on your wedding day. Your head will be in a totally different place.

True, some people don't care, and many just can't make if for a variety of real life reasons. BUT!!!! Obviously, some do care and are making the effort! Focus on the ones who do care and ARE making the effort. So far, 75. Have your special-wonderful-full-of-love celebration with the 75 who want to share your special ceremony of love. Live in what is going well; enjoy the people who will be with you. Focus on what is going well---take that and expand it, build on it, celebrate.

I totally know how you feel. we invited 122 and had 51 attend. at first i was really disappointed and extremely hurt. there are a still a few people that DH and i are still really upset with and i'm not sure if we'll ever get over it with them because we really learned/realized where our friendships were with them. he realized a friendship with one of his best friends has been extremely one sided and he's definitely sick of it at this point. some excuses were really lame.

but, on the bright side, we saved about $2000 in estimated catering costs and the smaller wedding attendance ended up being perfect. we eventually realized that the people that really cared and mattered were there and we had a total blast with them. screw the other people. they totally missed out.

i know it sucks now and it hurts. but trust me, your wedding will still be the most perfect day and the people that make the effort to be there will make it worth all the while. try not to get too down about it and definitely don't let it ruin your day!

I am feeling your pain! We were initially so worried that our invite list was TOO big and now 2 weeks post-RSVP date we aren't even going to meet our minimum. But, I know that the people who truly love us will be there and that in the end it doesn't really matter if there are 80 of 200 guests, just that we are married at the end of the day.

Hey, nearly date twin (I get married the day before you!), don't let it get you down. I completely understand how you're feeling. I had a 65% decline rate for mine and honestly, almost all of those were my side. I have ten people coming to the wedding. But that's because of travel costs. It's hard not to take it personally, I know, but honestly, it can cost a lot to travel for a wedding. Flights, accommodation, on top of everything else. Truth is, come the day you won't notice this missing people! You'll be too focused on your FH!