Rundown of Thank You Card Etiquette

Anyone who sent a gift, whether physical or monetary, should receive thank you notes. No need to send a thank you just for attending, that’s what the reception is for.

I would say all of those groups get a card—the only ones from your guest list who don’t get a card are those who didn’t come and didn’t send a gift.

Etiquette says you have 3 months to get all your cards out, so you’re fine time-wise.

As for what to write for guests who attended but didn’t give a gift, just say something along the lines of “Thank you so much for coming to our wedding. Your presence made our day even more special, and we’re so grateful that you were there to celebrate with us.” If possible, add in a specific and personal anecdote about something you all talked about at the wedding (ex: “I’m so glad we got to catch up and I’m so excited to hear about your new job! I wish you all the best with it” or “I had a great time on the dance floor with you—thanks for getting the party started!”)

For guests who didn’t come but sent a gift: “We’re so sorry you weren’t able to attend—we both missed you dearly. Thank you so much for the thoughtful gift.” And then something specific about how you plan to use their gift (ex: “The plates are beautiful, and we can’t wait to host our first holiday dinner as a family with them.”)

You can never go wrong sending a thank you. Definitely to all who gave or sent a gift, and I believe even to those who came without a gift. I never heard that the reception is the thank you for coming before WW.

We will be sending thank you to everyone who attends thanking them for their love and support. If there were gifts given we have been sending them as we receive them. Hmmmm... I wonder if we send a thank you for a gift pre wedding do we send another post wedding thanking them for their support?

Thank anyone who sent a gift (whether they attended or not), including money. [Mentioning what you put the money towards or bought yourself with their gift is a popular way to personalize those thank you notes, BTW]

For people who weren't invited: don't mention the wedding or talk about them not being invited. Just thank them for the kind gift, tell them how you're enjoying it, and maybe say something about hoping you'll get to see them/ catch up/ celebrate with them soon.

You don't need to thank people who just attended. Technically, the reception IS their thank you for attending the wedding. If you wish to anyway, a simple, "Thanks so much for making time to celebrate with us/ glad you could be there/ really made our day" type message is fine. (And don't mention the lack of gift).

I got everyone who gave me a gift a card

Only send thank you cards to people who gave gifts. the reception was your thank you to those who attended the ceremony, plus you should have already spoken to everyone at your reception and thanked them for coming. It can definitely read like a passive-aggressive slap in the face to someone who didn't get you a gift if they receive a thank you for attendance.