Skip to main content

Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

A
Super February 2019

Rude to send Invite if they've declined already?

Amy, on July 22, 2018 at 7:12 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 16
So I have a few couples who got the STD and let me know they won't be able to make it or they expect to let me know before invites (due to pregnancy) I thought it would be polite to still send an invite but I just read that's actually rude and shouldn't be done.

Thoughts?

16 Comments

Latest activity by Cassidy, on July 23, 2018 at 1:15 PM
  • K
    Dedicated July 2020
    Katie ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    Personally, I wouldn't send it. If they change their mind or circumstances, they should go out of their way to contact you. Sending it anyway could feel like rubbing it in.
    • Reply
  • A
    Super February 2019
    Amy ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment
    Good point. I was going to send so they still felt included/thought of/welcome but I didn't consider it would make them feel bad!!!
    • Reply
  • Kelly
    Champion October 2018
    Kelly ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    I disagree with pp. They should still receive an invite in case circumstances change. Everyone who gets a save the date should receive an invitation.
    • Reply
  • earias
    Champion December 2017
    earias ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment
    Exactly this. Plans change so they should still receive an invitation just in case.
    • Reply
  • A
    Super February 2019
    Amy ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    To those who said I should still send, does your answer change if the person is pregnant and due two weeks after my wedding? It's an 18 hour car ride or a 2.5 hour flight distance from them, so I think the no travel rule would apply?


    ETA: or a military deployment when they will already be gone when invites go out?


    • Reply
  • Sara P.
    VIP October 2018
    Sara P. ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    I would still send the invite. Their personal circumstances that you mentioned wouldn't change that for me.
    • Reply
  • Kelly
    Champion October 2018
    Kelly ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment
    Yes. They can rsvp no but they still should receive an invite. There were multiple people who told me they couldn’t make it when save the dates went out and I still sent them an invite. Those people have told me how beautiful my invitations are, how excited they are for me, that they’re sorry they can’t make it and sent me a gift off my registry.
    • Reply
  • earias
    Champion December 2017
    earias ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment
    My answer does not change. An invitation is not a summons but rather a token of how special that person is to have been invited.
    • Reply
  • Brianna
    Savvy November 2018
    Brianna ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    I would definitely still send the invite. Maybe you could add a little note inside theirs saying you know they can’t make it, but hope they can celebrate from afar?
    • Reply
  • E
    Savvy August 2018
    Erin ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    Yes, they should still recieve an invite. Like one said it's not a summons and they may like to have an invite for a keepsake even though they couldn't attend. I know i'd want one for a keepsake even if i couldn't attend one of my close friends or relatives wedding.
    • Reply
  • B
    Expert September 2018
    Brittany ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    I would still send an invite so they know they are invited!
    • Reply
  • Neens
    Devoted September 2018
    Neens ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    Definitely still send the invite!
    • Reply
  • Lauren
    Savvy August 2018
    Lauren ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    I was always told that it was gift grabby to still send and invite if they already declined, so we didn't.
    • Reply
  • Janel
    Super September 2018
    Janel ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    My friend told me she’s already be attending another wedding. I did not send her an invite.
    • Reply
  • Amelia
    Expert June 2019
    Amelia ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    You could insert a handwritten note acknowledging their previous decline but wanted them to know they’re still invited Incase circumstances changed
    • Reply
  • Cassidy
    VIP October 2017
    Cassidy ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    I would absolutely send an invite anyway. In no way is that gift-grabby. I would think if I got a save the date, and no invitation, that I was then uninvited and then I'd be pretty hurt and angry, like "what did I do?" to be uninvited to my friend's wedding? Send the invite. It would be rude not to.

    • Reply

You voted for . Add a comment 👇

×


WeddingWire celebrates love ...and so does everyone on our site! Learn more

Rockstars

  • D
    Getting married in 07/03/2025

Groups

WeddingWire article topics