I've known my FH and his whole close, extended family for years through his cousin. Unfortunately, she was a toxic friend. When were first started dating, I was in the end stages of not wanting to be part of the friendship. She was manipulative, a user, only nice when she wanted something, secretly competed against me and when jealous, would smear my name to my own friends and plant the seed in people's heads. We didn't have the friendship I thought we had. She didn't want to know about my business because she cared - she only wanted something to gossip and use against me to hurt me. I couldn't tolerate it anymore. She didn't know how to be cordial so I stopped talking to her altogether.
His other cousins and his sister were not the most welcoming or nice to me when we were dating. They were constantly pretending to care and get the "tea" when they really wanted to watch a train wreck and gossip. They never supported us and wanted us to break up. Like my friend, his sister and other girl cousins only were nice if they wanted something but because we weren't in the same age group, they weren't as "competitive" or calculating. I honestly believe these women are naturally spoiled/selfish and do not know how to care for anyone but themselves - that's not an insult but rather an observation.
For my bridal shower, I extended the invite to FH's aunts, cousins, and sister. My FH as another set of girl cousins who are not as close to the "clique" and they were friendly with me. While I was opening presents, the other cousins (and everyone - all my guests) sat around and were present. The OTHER 3, the clique (previous friend, FH sister, and cousin) were in standing in a far corner, talking, and doing their own thing. In general, I thought it was very rude. My mom walked by and they were just gossiping about their own problems and forgot they were attending a bridal shower. Anyhoo, I know not to get close with them and will continue but I find the behavior fake bc in the guest book they'll write, "you've always been part of the family! Welcome!" but they were in their own little world. I don't ask for attention at all but I expect my guests to be present with me at my party. I think in the future, I just need to remember to not ever get close to them. They're very good at tricking you into thinking they care but that action alone speaks volumes. Any other tips for the future?
