RSVP's sending more than the number allowed

Well, 160 (or 135) is not even close to small and intimate. I would contact asshole cousin and say that you cannot accidental the children, and hope he can still make it.

You call him and let him know you can't accommodate the 2 additional seats and remind him it's an adult only reception. Let him know you understand if this means he can't attend but that he'll be missed in that case.

Sorry 135 is small to us due to the size of our family. We were only able to invite literally a handful of people that were not blood related. Everyone understood. Thanks for the prompt responses. It just puts me in a bad position. Also, these children are are 13 years old. So it wouldn't prevent him from not going. I actually don't mind at all if he brings his child. He's a little older and if that's what he wants to do with his plus one then that's what he wants to do. But adding to the RSVP is a little rude, right?

Definitely rude AF

Was your invitation clearly addressed to him and guest? I'd give him a call and let him know that unfortunately children are not invited, your venue is unable to accommodate the extra numbers and the rest of the family is subject to this rule so you can't make an exception for him without offending everyone else, and you hope he is still able to celebrate with you but you understand if he cannot.

Sorry, that is not a small or intimate wedding.

Yes it's rude. Call him, let him know that you carefully selected your guest list and you cannot accommodate three people you had not invited.

First, your wedding is not small or intimate. I'm inviting 22 guests. Another bride on here invited 7 to her Disney wedding. That is small.

Second, you just have call and tell him that you are unable to accommodate for more guests than the invitation stated. No need to explain further than that.

In what world is 135 small and intimate?

You should always plan for 100% attendance. If you invite 160, be prepared to host 160. Call up your cousin and say it's an adult only wedding and children cannot and will not be accommodated

Do as other people have said and just let him know that you cannot accommodate the extra people. Not sure why he would bring his ex's kids anyway. That is strange to me.

"I'm sorry, there must have been a misunderstanding. The invitation was meant for you and a date if you choose to bring one. We are unable to accommodate extra guests or children. If this means you will be unable to attend, we will miss you at the wedding."

Thanks for the reply everyone. I am apart of a HUGE family. HUGE. So every wedding I've been to has been in the ballpark of 250 people. I once went to a wedding with 180 people and that felt small given what I'm use to. So now that we have 135 people coming I'm preparing myself for small and intimate. It will in fact be the SMALLEST wedding I've ever been to. And yes this is strange his ex/baby mamas kids. I'm, I'm just gonna call him and explain. Thanks again everyone

And to think, we dropped our guest list from 70+ down to 20-30.. lol

Call him up and say no you can't accommodate children... wait its 160 adults?? this honestly makes me so happy i don't have a large family.. and i feel my dad's side is relatively large.. phew!

It's awkward but you have be direct. tell your cousin that you can't accommodate his kiddos as soon as possible. If he brings them after you told everyone else that there would be no kids, it would look bad.

The best thing about this situation is that he is family and not just a friend so you can say whatever you want to him & he has to accept it. Just lay down the law. It is YOUR day and he needs to respect it.

Your wedding isn't small but I get it. We actually struggled to keep the guest list to 200 (lots of families with 3 or 4 kids) so I get that it may seem small to you, but it's not.

That said you mention it's a 13 year old so it wouldn't stop them. Sorry, but a lot of places people won't feel comfortable leaving a 13 year old alone. Especially at night. So yeah, it may stop them.

If your wedding is kid free then tell them that. But if the 13 year old is his child, still at home/he has custody, and you aren't kid free (or they meet your age requirements), then his kid should have been included.

So, I've got a question. What happens when you invite an adult with a generic plus 1, and the adult chooses to bring along their child as their "date?" If it's a teenager, say age 15 or older, I don't really see any problems, and would hope that other guests wouldn't give the evil eye.

But suppose the plus 1 were a child of 10? To an "adult" reception. The numbers are still the same. But you have a kid attending the event. What do you do?

This is just a question that I'm curious about.....we've got more than 20 kids coming.

I have a massive family too, so I understand where you're coming from. I invited 190 when we could have invited 250.

Still. Your wedding is NOT intimate, so stop calling it that.

Get in touch with the guest and tell him the invite is for him and one other guest.

I would call.

I'm going the same issue. I tell them either you can come with the number I have reserved for you or I understand if you can't make it. If they want to come bad enough they will make the adjustment and if not oh well.