Rsvps - Out of State Wedding

I would send them asap! The invitees have less time to make arrangements than guests that RSVP'd already.

Depending on your time frame..... We are under a month now. I asked verbally and then gave an official invite after.

This is B listing and is brutally frowned upon. I wouldn't do this. It creates issues for your "A list" by requiring RSVPs too early and "B listers" may find out and have hurt feelings. Just invite who you can afford.

Generally frowned upon * jeez this app needs post editing!

View Quoted Comment Not the OP, but what does invite who you can afford mean?
I can technically afford to invite everyone on our list. I just have a few too many to fit into the venue.
If I invite 250 people, we can afford 250 people. Just because 50 people decline, doesnt mean we can suddenly only afford 200 people.

We obviously don’t want people to feel like “b list” material but, my venue has a capacity and we are expecting a handful of no’s because of not allowing children. If 6 people say no, why is it rude to extend the invite to 6 others?

I definitely see the struggle in asking people to RSVP too early as it seems frowned upon. We have no wedding guidance so I appreciate each and every response!!!

Also my wedding is May 2 - so if I invite everyone on the list (no second round) what date/time frame do I ask them to rsvp by?

Don’t. B listing is rude and overall just difficult to even do. Invite who you can and enjoy the savings if you have a few declines, don’t try to desperately fill those seats with your runner up list.

View Quoted Comment I suppose this phrase works only if your reason is financial and not capacity based. Which is usually the reason for B listing I've seen.

View Quoted Comment Hi Molly,

The general consensus is that those 6 people could discover/know that they are "B list" and feel very hurt and offended- like "oh, I wasn't wanted/loved/good/whatever enough to make the cut but now that these important A listers can't make it they're giving me their seat as an after thought."
I understand this isn't your intention or anything but that is why it's considered rude.

For RSVP's I'd check with your vendors most require a final count only a few days ahead but some need more so, it can vary. For example, my caterer requires a headcount a full month ahead! Whenever your final numbers are due, set the RSVP date for about 1 or 2 weeks before. Give a week for stragglers to trickle in then start calling people to confirm.
Happy planning! I'm sorry if you at all felt attacked!

View Quoted Comment No not at all!! I sincerely appreciate your input and can absolutely see why people would feel that way

View Quoted Comment Glad to help! You know your crowd best and ultimately it's your wedding. Hopefully you can turn to WW again with anymore questions in the future!