Rsvp’s & Invitations

View Quoted Comment It is not.

We have decided on a guest list before even searching for a venue that consists of our must have friends and family. If someone is unable or unwilling to attend, we will have a smaller guest count. Save the dates are given by phone and magnets at 6-12 months before the wedding to give them time to save money, make travel arrangements and schedule time off work, even those who are local. Those will be followed up by a traditional full invitation set of invitation, reply card and details card. Our circles do not use QR codes, hashtags, wedding websites and other modern technology in formal correspondence. Also with the American etiquette we were raised with (families from the western US and southern states) which is in line with Miss Manners who is very relevant even today, B listing is considered impolite. Some relatives have done it because they didn’t know better and didn’t have anyone for guidance but it backfired badly in those situations. That includes people badmouthing the couples behind their backs.

View Quoted Comment This exactly. Some people are happy to be invited to anything but they also know when they are not on your wish list of people to be with.

View Quoted Comment That’s fine, glad the works for you. In my wedding B Listing will be utilized to the fullest extent! Matter fact, might add a C and D List while we’re at it to spice up the drama!

Hi! We sent out invitations via mail and created a WR code and additional details were on the website. We used Minted and it was super easy and very cost efficient!!!!

View Quoted Comment Ok that sounds pretty simple and easy, thanks for sharing! I’ll have to check out Minted! Right now I plan on using Magnet Street

View Quoted Comment
You can say "I'm not rude" all you want, but so far everyone else has disagreed. The rules can be pretty firm based on what is done by the majority of people in a specific culture or region.

Here's an article from the Emily Post Institute, who are professional etiquette experts. Scroll down to see their take on B-list: https://emilypost.com/advice/inside-weddings-modern-invitations

Excerpts from that article: "A standby guest list is a risky proposition, since it creates the potential for hurt feelings or for guests to feel slighted. I would not encourage couples to go down this road..." Also, "If you send out invitations in two stages, be discreet – guests must not ever know they weren’t your first choice."

You have snapped back at almost every person who has replied here, and that behavior is getting close to violating our community guidelines. You can do whatever you want for your wedding, but the responses here show a consensus that your methods would be rude to guests. You now have two pages of unanimous opinions from people trying to respectfully share advice. If you continue arguing with them, I (or another mod) will have to close this thread.

View Quoted Comment Go ahead, your opinions are your opinions and will not affect how I continue to do things. Same way everyone continues to push their ideology onto my planning is the same way I’m going to continue standing up for what I want to do in my wedding.


By all means, close the thread! Please do!