RSVP's for uninvited guest

You call them and tell them the invitation was only for X and Y. "Unfortunately, we won't be able to accommodate your children. I hope you can still attend." You don't owe them any explanation and stay far away from telling them any other children will be there.

You'll get a lot of varying opinions on this, as some people feel very passionately about the topic, on both sides.

Do you have any wiggle room in your budget to be able to accommodate these children? If you don't, you don't and you'll need to make that phone call. If you do, then it's entirely what you feel comfortable with.

FWIW, we decided to not have any children attend our wedding, outside of my nieces and nephew (20, 16, and 13 at the time). We had two guests - one friend and one family - add their kinds to their RSVP. We spoke with them as soon as we got them back to let them know we understood if they couldn't make it, but children were not invited.

IMO, you don't need to tell them who else you invited, but you certainly have the right to tell them their children are not invited.

"I'm sorry, but the invitation was for you and Julie. Let me know if the two of you are still able to attend. If not, I'll certainly understand."

How did you address your invitations? If you wrote for instance, "The Jones Family" that indicates the children are invited. If you wrote "Mr. and Mrs. Jones" then that is a clear indication that only the parents are invited. Call up the guests who have RSVP'd and explain that the invitation is only for the parents.

@mrs. coakley we were very specific for that reason. Mr.and Mrs. no family or guest or kids. I think unfortunately we will have to make that awkward phone call. I wouldn't mind if it was only one kid but they have 6 kids so that's a big difference.

Yup. 6 kids is a lot for someone to write in. They have to see this coming. Make the call.

6 kids?! My god. It amazes me how dense some people are and how many don't understand how to read an invitation. You have every right to call or email them to let them know you're sorry but you cannot accommodate the children. The invitation was for the couple only. This is not rude. They are the rude ones for adding uninvited guests to the rsvp card.

I just had this conversation with my FMIL in regards to our ceremony, I disagree that you avoid mentioning other kids will be there. If I was told for the last 9months that my children were not invited to your event, and I show up and someone's kid is there, who was not BP, I'd be annoyed.

Example: both FH's first cousins are OOT one is in NY (45 minutes from our venue - so not OOT to me, but that's different conversation) and one is from North Carolina (8.5 hours away from the venue) the one from NY is insisting on bringing her toddler to the ceremony or won't come. My FMIL told her fine, bring the kid. To which I think, how is that fair to the one from NC, who has to leave her kid for 2 days? I'd be upset that I didn't threaten not to come to get my child an invite.

We didn't invite out of towners. Why invite kids we've never even met, or had only seen twice, when local kids, who we see multiple times a year weren't invited. My family/social circle does 21 and up, so there's an even cut-off/no questions asked.

I agree, make that call. 6 children is a bit much..

Not sure what your paying for each, but for my venue children were a lesser price so it really didn't matter much to me. Children under 5 were free for me as well.

No needed explanation might cause some problems

Whatever you decide to do, do NOT text your guests about the kid situation. My best friend just had this issue and texted a few people who were trying to bring kids. It made the situation 10x worse all because she didn't want to suck it up and make a phone call